Well, there I was, in that exact state and I didn’t know what I could do to change it. The thought of switching to another meaningless job again and trying to recreate my career closer to home was completely overwhelming. I was numb.
But then I had an insight, and a vision popped into my head. It was a picture of me at my kitchen table, having a relaxed and enjoyable breakfast with my wife and daughter. We were all smiling and I was very happy. That was the kind of husband and dad I wanted to be—not the one who was tired and cranky each day, kissing my daughter who was sound asleep on the forehead, wondering if she even remembered who I was.
I was determined to create that vision as my reality (was that my sign?), and I decided right then that the very next morning, instead of rushing to the early train as I always did, I would take the later train so that I could have breakfast at home with the two of them. Instead of being at my desk by 8:45 AM as I usually was, I would get there a little bit after nine o’clock. This was not going to be a monumental life change. In fact, it was only a twenty-minute difference in my schedule. But, even so, it would be a nice little start in the right direction.
What happened next was so interesting. As soon as I made that simple little decision, something inside of me shifted. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what, but it literally felt as if I had just taken
control of my life back—even from just that one small decision I made. That little break from routine changed everything. One of the most important lessons I realized from making that decision was that nothing would change until I changed it. It was clear that I would never find the time to spend with my family in the morning. I had to create it!
I immediately called my wife and shared my intentions with her; for the rest of that afternoon, I felt “bulletproof.” Nothing bothered me—in fact, I felt the best I had for a long time. I even enjoyed the rest of the day at work. My job duties were exactly the same, but because I took back the responsibility and accountability for my life, my relationship to what I was doing changed. (Creating a simple intention can be very powerful, regardless of whether it actually occurs or not!) The resentment I felt for my job eased as I realized that I didn’t have to make myself miserable and sabotage my situation! That was essentially what I was doing after all, waiting for someone else to force me to change instead of doing something about it myself. But in declaring that intention, I realized that if I was miserable, I had no one to blame but myself.
That evening, I went to bed with a renewed sense of hope, possibility, and empowerment. I still didn’t have direction, but I had made a start at getting into action. Life was good!
The next morning came and I got up and dressed at my normal time, not quite sure whether I was going to stay true to my intention of having breakfast with my family or not. It’s funnyhow powerful habits are, even if you haven’t been doing them for very long.
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