Based on decades of informal, unverified, and unscientific observation, the checklist for obstacles to Effective Coaching (EF) includes:
Belief addiction disorder. Believing in things that don’t work.
Victim addiction disorder. Stuck in victim mode
Performance addiction disorder. If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist
Hierarchy addiction disorder. Having to have hierarchy up and down
Possibility deficit disorder Never see Possibilities
Possibility addiction disorder So many possibilities you can’t decide
Explanation addiction disorder Excessive unnecessary explanation
Dysfunction addiction disorder. Can’t stand having things work
Fear addiction disorder Needing to be afraid
Identity addiction disorder Stuck in who you think you are
Measurement addiction disorder. Excessive need for certainty
Yes addiction disorder Having to say yes
No addiction disorder Having to say no
Cognitive dissonance disorder Need to be confused
Inquiry avoidance addiction Obsessive need to know
Profit addiction disorder. Profit is God
Arrogance addiction disorder Self importance always wins
Control addiction disorder. Never not Dominate
Adrenaline addiction disorder. No Rush, No Existence
Relationship addiction disorder Feeling unloved or unworthy
Having to be nice Soft is always better
Having to be severe Hard is always better
1K Club
Kerryn Griffiths
February 4, 2016 at 12:59 am
Am I missing something? I don’t understand the point of this article… is it meant to be funny and I’m not getting the joke?
Charles Smith
February 4, 2016 at 1:11 pm
Kerryn,
Addicts are not coachable until they hit rock bottom. Then sometimes, they become coachable at least for a while and sometimes, they take themselves on in a sustainable way.
With many of the obstacles to effective coaching, I often suspect that the dysfunction itself has become addictive.
My habit is to make a joke out of something I don’t know how to address reliably, I meant to be funny and meant to be not funny.
The article ought to be longer to tell a story in depth.
Charlie
Esther
February 10, 2016 at 1:22 am
It’s not funny, but wry. I do get your point, though. Signs you would benefit from coaching are dissatisfaction with where you are in your life’s story and a resolve to get there no matter what it takes. The above list sometimes holds people back – there is an underlying pay-off to remaining in those addictions (think it’s called secondary gain). If were a simple matter to uncover this secondary gain, then the client insights and subsequent progress are huge. Most often, addictions have roots beyond the scope of coaching. Makes sense to partner with a psychologist for resolving that. Great list, though. I know I am guilty of some of these addictions, but I kind of know what the secondary gain is.
Kerryn Griffiths
February 10, 2016 at 6:17 pm
OK, now I think I get it. We’re not actually talking about addictions, but the underlying patterns we are working with much of the time… and isn’t that the work of coaching and Effective Coaching (EF), as you say, helps us overcome these patterns?
Charles Smith
February 10, 2016 at 5:53 pm
Thanks Esther,
Years ago, the great therapist Carl Rogers studied most forms of therapy and concluded that healing or fundamental growth was a function of unqualified positive regard by the therapist and had little to do with the nature of the therapy, counseling or coaching.
In home schooling our boys, I learned that what really mattered in their progress came from absolute commitment to their success and a context of love.
Much of the rest is so non linear and paradoxical there is little chance of accessing a quantum reality where magic can happen.
Charlie
Charlie Smith
February 10, 2016 at 8:26 pm
Kerryn,
I don’t know what the effect of coaching ought to be. For me, it’s transcendence, freedom, escape velocity, fearlessness and ultimately something like accepting that suffering is part of life and we are all Sisyphus. All I control, it seems, is my mood.
Apologies for getting your name wrong the first time.
Charlie
Dave Schulman
April 14, 2016 at 12:05 pm
This is a useful and thought-provoking list. I intend to share it with people preparing to be coached. Thanks, Charlie.
Richard Whitehurst
December 20, 2017 at 6:50 pm
I loved this fun listing of these all to frequently encountered orientations to being alive (or avoiding being alive).
Human beings are the damnedest creatures! Thank you Charlie for sharing your wit and wisdom.