My first reaction to the idea of writing, “Stop lying to yourself about who you really are!” was, “Well, I don’t think I do lie to myself.” Some mistakes maybe, a little exaggeration here and there, an excuse now and then, I guess.., but I think I do know pretty well “who I am” – strengths, weaknesses, roles I occupy (work, family, memberships, etc.), moral values, habits…. Other people, I suppose, may sometimes see me differently. But I know “me” better than they do. Lie to myself…? Nah.
Looked at another way, though.., from another angle.., what I’m going to try here is just to be thought provoking. Try to read it that way. See if any of the following perspectives raise interesting questions for you as to how you might sometimes be absentmindedly kidding yourself about who you really are.
A life-long challenge for each of us is figuring out how the world works, and seeing how we might best navigate our way through life in such a way as to make it a good trip – good for yourself, and good for people you decide to care about. You start this at the time you’re born and continue until you die, coming up with the best answers you can to both of these questions. And your answers about yourself (at least the ones you actually live, don’t just claim), really do become “Who You Are.”
Who are you actually? It seems to me that a correct answer would have to include all of the lifetime experience you’ve had so far – thoughts, feelings, skills, beliefs, hope, values, style, social influence, and much more. (What would you add?) Call all of these your “Available Self” or the “Available You” – parts, aspects that you might call forth to be in the saddle at any particular moment in your life, depending on where you are and what’s going on at the time.
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