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Intense Identity Expansion

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After several moments Alex began to tear up, collapsed to his side on my couch and then began to cry. This went on for five minutes, after which he slowly opened his bloodshot eyes and sat up. He had a smile on his face.

“What was that about?” I asked.

Alex chuckled wryly, “That is what I’ve been looking for all my life. And everything…and I mean everything…I do to get me there, takes me further away. That’s a lot to think about.”

And I replied, “Yes it is.”

In both those instances, the talking stick and listening stick enabled John and Alex and me to come from beyond our typical identity.

I have since used the “talking/listening stick” in presentations to small and large groups to talk authentically and listen into the audience. As I have done that I have had further insights into the power of this tool especially when being seated in front of anyone and holding it with two hands on my lap.

What I have become aware of is that when I am speaking in front of an audience or even one person, I am using my hands and arms to amplify what I am saying. What I have realized is that when I am using my body in that way, I am embellishing what I am saying and not being present, receptive or real.  I’m not expressing as much as I am selling. Entertaining maybe and because of that possibly getting away with it. 

However, when I am seated, holding the smooth and cool glass stick in my lap and not using my hands or arms, whether I am talking or listening, I am fully present, and coming fully from my identity… and coming from the best part of who I am.

Imagine how that might help in your coaching practice and life.






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