In 2007 my husband, our three daughters and myself moved to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. The girls 15, 14 and 11 had never left Australia before. We lived on six acres in a rural town complete with horse, dog and vegetable patch. We couldn’t have moved to a more culturally diverse location. The horror on their faces when we landed in HCMC, is now comical, but at the time, was almost enough to make me want to herd them back onto the safety of the plane and head for home. In the first few months the guilt of what we had done hung like a noose around my neck. The children were miserable, missing home, their friends and were too scared to venture far from our serviced apartment for fear of getting run over by the crazy motorbikes that seemed to be everywhere, even on the pavements! I spent the first week walking around the block as I couldn’t work up the courage to cross the road.
I knew nothing about Culture Shock, and had very little support from my husbands company about what to expect in our new city. As the Mother at home, I was the punching bag for all the pent up emotions my poor children struggled to deal with. Not only did they have to settle into a new school and make friends, they had to adjust to the British schooling system, which was markedly different from the Australian one, and much more academic. I was one of the lucky ones, while my husband had thrown himself into a challenging new role and was working long hours, he was also aware of the struggles I was facing, and was a great source of support for me. Many partners aren’t as empathetic and become absorbed in their new role, not realising the toll the new life is taking on the spouse at home. We lived in a very small serviced apartment for 3months (which felt like forever), while I tried to find a house for us to live in, and supermarkets that had the sort of food we were used to…a challenge in itself!
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Maureen Morton
May 10, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Dear Karen
I found this article fascinating. I often wondered and marvelled at how you coped and were coping in those early years. To have remembered and written it down is so worth while and I hope it will go into the reading package of every new expat, wherever they are going.
I can also see a career blossoming for you, wherever you are, by introducing this concept, of providing a coach to expatriate spouses in the early days of their moves, to the Human resources manager of companies. You could certainly sell the idea on the basis of cost alone, when you think how much money they lose when an employee goes home early because the family cannot settle in a new country.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I really enjoyed reading it.
Nothing like the usual academic waffle
love and hugs
Maureen
Truth always
May 12, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Hey, Karen doesn’t mention here the really telling background story of how she came to be an expatriate, leaving her former policeman husband for her current one that’s a banker, with three kids under 10 at the time. Plenty of grey facts about whether it was adultry as well. Not sure I would recommend her services as a lifecoach. Amazing how some people re brand themselves so anyone needing marketing tips should follow her advice. Also one of her current family members seems to be leaving the positive notes. Karen as a lifecoach is the funniest thing I could ever imagine. Would be interesting to hear her guidance in ethics or family morals
e.curran
May 14, 2013 at 4:09 am
Truth always , isn’t it strange how people like you do not use their real name especially when they are leaving negative views, or just their side of a story.
vorameghana
May 30, 2013 at 2:55 am
Expatriate is very important, especially for those who travel to different countries for work purposes. Expatriate can be anyone which chooses to live in a country other than the motherland.http://www.whatisall.com/people/what-is-an-expatriate.html