My Story

7 min read

In everyday speak, I have not changed my ‘Character’ but rather, I can now choose to free myself from all my hitherto unconscious and automatic characteristics.  Of course, the process of building more unconscious characteristics continues daily, even moment-to-moment.  I guess that is the magic, mystery, wonder and puzzle of being human; the parallel process of building permanence into your identity and freeing yourself from it.

Do I regret taking seventy-five years to see this? Yes and No!

In my unconscious way I would say yes, but I worked hard to get there so I deserve it!  My conscious way would say No – what a journey, and there’s more to come, but more importantly I’m way more relaxed and energised than ever.

Do I think I’ve finally found the answer to being a perfect human being? Yes & No.

My unconscious way would say maybe, but if I work hard on it possibly I will finally get it!  My conscious way says, “Who knows, who cares” – the journey is one of awareness, moment-to-moment being free to choose with integrity and beauty for my heartfelt intentions in whatever the matter at hand.

Interestingly my relationship with my catholicism (the small ‘c’ is significant , i.e. catholic as universal, not Catholic as The Religion), is in a great shape.  I make mistakes and do my best to clean them up, learn from them, and wherever possible correct them and not use them as supporting evidence for my unworthiness and lack of talent. I leave the word ‘sin’ to those who find a value in that concept.

My relationship and viewing point with a supreme being, God, is that if one exists (I believe in God as a viewing point for my life – my definition of faith is acting as though something is so, rather than an indisputable fact to be pushed onto others), then I am fully part of his/her creation and therefore don’t have to prove or earn my worthiness on his/her behalf.  All I need to do is engage with myself and other human beings as worthy and be true, or better said, be conscious, aware and free to choose how I engage and love them. Franciscan priest Richard Rohr expresses this most eloquently.

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