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Interpersonal Needs and The Human Spectrum

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It is important, first, to appreciate the Golden Yellow focus on the current reality – in this case there is a focus on the reality of the group or team which one might join and to which one might devote attention and energy. Golden Yellow is about sunlight and shedding light on the world in which one is living and the relationship one establishes with other people. It is about being realistic regarding the group/team being considered for inclusion. How is this group/team going to operate and what are its desired outcomes? Does this cluster of people have a real reason for gathering together and working with one another? Is there a compelling purpose?

Having gathered this information, the prospective Golden Yellow member turns to five primary concerns regarding inclusion: (1) Should I just stand here for a bit and see what is happening before committing myself, (2) how do I determine if I really want to be part of this group/team, (3) if I do what to be a member how do I get genuinely included, (4) if I don’t want to be a member, do I still have to join this group/team for some reason and (5) what role should I play in this group/team so that I can be included and remain included, or not be truly included but still show up as a “member” of this group/team?

Proactive and Reactive Inclusion

As I have already noted, it is not simply a matter of joining a group and waiting to be fully welcomed into the group. An important decision must be made as to whether we are going to actively seek inclusion in the group (proactive inclusion) or whether we are looking to other members of the group to invite us in (reactive inclusion). When we are motivated by a proactive need for inclusion than we are “inviting ourself” into the group – and therefore are taking the risk of being rejected by the group (informally or formally). Other group members might directly or indirectly indicate one of the following: “who invited you in!” “Wait a minute, we have to decide if we want you to be a member of this group!” “I’m not sure you will want to be a member of this group.” “I think you should reconsider, since you obviously are not liked by most of us.” While these words are not usually stated directly to someone wanting to join a group, there are many ways that these exclusionary inclinations are expressed through nonverbal behavior, through communication patterns in the group, or through the assignment of roles and responsibilities in the group.

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