The article below was contributed by http://www.thecoachingtoolscompany.com/.
How often do you see a brand new Porsche, promotion or designer pair of shoes get your client more excited than the thought of quality time with a child or friends? The excitement makes their heart beat faster and they mistake this desire for their heart’s deep inner needs. And while we coaches know that our desires and our heart’s true needs are often very different – it can be life-changing when our clients ‘get’ this for themselves.
So, here’s where the Wheel of Life Template can help. The Wheel of Life Template is not just a powerful check-in tool or action planner, it can also be used to identify and prioritise meaningful goals – helping to create powerful “Aha!” moments.
The exercise outlined below helps your client differentiate between excitement and desires and the heart (our deep inner needs). It uses a scoring process to help people see what will TRULY make a difference in their lives as opposed to what they THINK will improve their lives. And because it’s a scoring exercise – it provides powerful ‘proof’ so that the brain has to pay attention.
Using the Wheel of Life Template to Identify and/or Prioritise Truly MEANINGFUL Goals
1. First, get your client to list or brainstorm their current goals and to bring these to the session. One great way to do this is to ask them to, “List everything they want to Be, Do and Have in Life”.
2. Next ask them to take each item or goal and using the standard Wheel of Life template categories ask, “Will achieving this goal improve my satisfaction in this area?” Wheel of Life Category Reference List: http://www.thecoachingtoolscompany.com/wheel-of-life-temnplate-categories/
3. For each goal on their list, ask you client to give a point for EACH Wheel of Life area that is improved by that goal. Tip: ½ points can be allocated if appropriate.
4. Repeat until each goal has been scored.
5. Now review which goals have the highest and lowest scores. What do they notice? What have they learned about themselves? How do they feel after doing this exercise? How does this exercise affect the priority they place on their goals?
QUICK EXAMPLE
If two of the goals are 1) Buy a Porsche and 2) Be a great father/husband.
1) Porsche: Will it improve their Finances? No. Will it improve their relationships with family and friends? Probably not. Will it improve their Career? Unlikely. Will it improve their Fun? Yes (score 1). And so on until, let’s say they get a score of 1½ out of a possible 8.
2) Being a great father/husband: Well, it may not improve their finances much but it will help their relationships, fun, perhaps health, definitely personal growth etc. So let’s say they get a score of 7 out of 8.
And there it is in black and white. For a happy and balanced life the Porsche scores 1½, whereas being a great father/husband scores 7. Now your client can make a more informed choice on which goals have the most meaning – and which they choose to prioritise and work on.
I have used this exercise countless times with clients and they have always learned something about themselves. There have been ‘Aha Moments’ ranging from realising how important to them it is to be a great father to finally asking for and getting help with clutter in the home (this was huge!) to why saving up to go to the casino really is a bad idea.
Why This Exercise Works
The power of this exercise is that it helps our clients see for themselves in black and white what will make the biggest difference in their lives. And it helps them understand and get closer to their real selves (heart) as opposed to being driven by desires and excitement. This exercise helps people focus on truly meaningful change in their lives.