Erik de Haan’s (2008) research into “The inherent conflicts arising in the professional development of coaches” encourages us, as coaches, to become “simultaneously thicker and thinner skinned.” Through his research with 60 coaches, he examined 69 critical moments, that is, “turning points” and “dilemmas” (p. 529), moments when coaches “did not quite know what to do” (p. 529). Through analysis, de Haan then identified the circumstances which led to such critical moments and their impact on the coaching relationship, highlighting that “it is primarily the doubts of the coach that come to the fore in moments of tension” (p. 534).
COACHING RESEARCH:
De Haan identified several common critical moments in coaches’ development. Interestingly, they all stemmed from self-doubt:
- At the outset, with the question, “Who am I to think I can do this work?” (p. 531)
- After enrolling a client, wondering what is going to happen, and whether they will be capable of contributing to the relationship once it is in place
- During the relationship, when something critical arose and coaches doubted how to respond to it
He then continued to outline further doubts, which arose at different moments during coaching conversations. These included:
- “Doubts stemming from the nature of a coaching conversation” (p. 531)
This relates to the unstructured, question-based moments that tap into coachees’ emotions when coaches doubt “whether they are the right coach and whether they will be able to maintain the coaching relationship when it comes under pressure” (p. 532).
- “Doubts stemming from the coaching relationship and transference” (p. 532)
This relates to the phenomenon of transference, when coaches doubt their own internal responses to incidents in the coachees’ experiences.
- “Doubts stemming from the boundaries of the coaching relationship” (p. 532)
This relates to the coaching contracts, codes of conduct and ethics, as well as the boundary between coaching and theory. Internal coaches also experience additional boundary-related doubts.
- “Doubts stemming from guiding the coaching conversation”
This relates to doubts as to whether to explore an issue or not, not wanting to seem too controlling or too passive, not wanting to over-direct or under-direct, and wanting to maintain the right balance. This also included doubts around the particular approach coaches chose.
IN PRACTICE:
“The attendant uncertainty and feeling of not knowing appear not to be the obstructive by-products of coaching, but actually more like the starting point for coaching, having a decisive influence on the quality of the outcome. These doubts, tensions and questions cannot be answered or resolved in advance of the incident, so it is crucial for the coach to be receptive to as many signals as possible, and to explore how their doubts can be responded to productively” (p. 534).
Four patterns seemed to emerge in these critical moments and recognition of these critical moments and possible responses to them could help you accelerate your development as a coach. Therefore, when you notice yourself in a critical moment, rather than try to banish your doubts, value them and remember:
- “It is precisely in and as a result of such moments that the coach can learn something about him or herself, about the coaching relationship and ultimately about the coachee” (p. 534).
- “Critical moments are potential breakthrough moments” or “missed opportunities” (p. 534), depending on your response to them.
- “The more critical moments, the better the coaching” (p. 535). While this does not mean you should deliberately “create as many critical moments as possible” (p. 535), simply do not avoid or repress critical moments when they arise. Also, consider the coachee’s critical moments. In fact, “[c]oaching is about getting coachees to share and (re)experience their own critical moments” (p. 535).
- “Without critical moments coaches cannot continue to learn” (p. 535).
- Don’t try to banish doubt. Instead, use it to create learning for both you and your clients. Indeed, de Haan points out that this is often the reason why the inexperienced often perform better than the experienced, as the inexperienced tolerate a higher level of doubt.
De Haan, E. (2008). Becoming simultaneously thicker and thinner skinned: The inherent conflicts arising in the professional development of coaches. Personnel Review, 37(5), pp. 526-542.
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