Say It Skillfully

Say It Skillfully is my 90-second video series designed to help you learn to interact in a powerful, open, and honest manner at work. The series helps people create a shared reality in which all voices are heard, including the unpopular ones, and understood in the most effective manner possible.

In my experience, most professionals understand the concepts of being respectful and cooperative, but they don’t actually know how to do it when times get a bit stressful.  It’s both finding the words and how to say them, so as to honor oneself and others.

In this scenario, everyone else agrees on a decision, but you see it differently. What do you do? Watch the video. Then follow the explanation, and I’ll show you the nuances of how—and why—to navigate this challenging but important moment.

Let’s unpack what just happened.  The numbers just help you link to my explanation that follows:

[1] As you get ready to chime in, your positive energy & tone of voice are great assets to set the stage for your being a partner & team player… it might sound like this:

Hey, [2] I appreciate everyone’s input and how keen we are to do the right thing. [3] I’m not trying to rock the boat. [4] In the spirit of helping us consider all angles, let me offer a different perspective. [5] I’m with this customer day in and day out, and here’s my experience. 

1. Be intentional to exude a metaskill^[1] or two (i.e. vibe or energy) that will best support the work and how you want to be perceived
2. Acknowledge others’ efforts and intention with positivity
3. Clarify how you do not want to be perceived
4. Make explicit your intention: to serve the overall system
5. Share your experience

REMEMBER – it’s always okay to share your experience of something. You’re not saying you’re right or others are wrong, and it’s vital for the team to have transparency regarding people’s different realities. Only then can you see the disconnects and work through them.

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^[1] Source: CRR Global Organization & Relationship Systems Coaching (ORSC^TM): intentional attitude or stance with which something is done