Similarly, it is hard to remain forever in a stressful condition without moving into a state of denial about what is happening, numbing ourselves with stress-reducing drugs, or moving away from this event or setting. We can only stay frozen for a limited period of time; to remain in this state over a long duration is to court physical and mental collapse. There is also the matter of “imagined lions” or “imagined gift horses.” It is hard to keep imagining what isn’t real for an extended period of time. Short-duration lions and gift horses are fine—they tend to fade away unless we fall into a psychotic state brought on by persistent stress or a persistent search for a dopamine hit.
Mind of the Beholder
As I have just suggested, the magnitude and duration of an anticipated event is often in the mind of the beholder rather than in the “real” world. It is not hard for the human imagination to produce big lions and situations that will “last forever.” Humans are even more adept at choosing between the positive and negative. There is the fabled story of the “optimistic” boy who opened the door of a room that was filled with manure. This boy became very excited because he declared that with all of the manure, there must be a pony in there somewhere.
Conversely, the “pessimistic” boy opened the door and found a pony standing there in front of him. This boy began to cry, anticipating that he would have to clean up all the manure left by this pony. The “optimistic” boy clearly is anticipating a positive event (discovering the pony) and a pleasant outcome (riding the pony). A negative anticipation resides in the head and heart of the “pessimistic” boy who imagined spending all of his hours cleaning up after that damned pony. Ultimately, valence is often in the head and heart of the person doing the anticipation.
I am acquainted with a very special woman who exemplifies the “pessimism” of our boy crying about the manure. She is always anticipating that things will go awry. She anticipates that conversations between two people will inevitably be contentious. She always assumes that a new project being engaged by leaders of her organization will fail. All of this motivates her to be very caring of other people, since she assumes they have just been engaged in a negative interaction with another person. She also works extra hard on the project to ensure that it is only a minor failure rather than a big catastrophe. This makes my acquaintance a wonderfully caring person and a diligent worker. However, this comes at a great cost for her. I anticipate a negative outcome: her burnout. Or am I being too “pessimistic” in my own anticipation of her fate?
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