3. State what you need: “It is important because my need for X is not being met”
Marshall Rosenberg stated: “When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.”
4. Request a change: “So would you be ok to….?”
State what you need, but leave room for negotiation. The other person should be given space to provide information on what they need to be able to make this behaviour change.
Finally, it is important to re-boot the relationship. Be sure to close with a thank you and recognition that you have the type of relationship where this type of conversation can be held.
With thorough preparation and the right mind-set, and unhelpful conversation doesn’t have to become a battle – your relationship with that person can come out even stronger. Give it a try!
___________
*2014 Global Trust, Engagement and Communication in the Workplace Survey conducted by The Oxford Group and Atomik Research
**A helpful conversation planner [http://www.5conversations.co.uk/documents/Conversation_4_Planner.pdf] and an inventory of ‘feelings’ words that you can use are included in the book.
Download Article 1K Club
