Distraction creates OVERWHELM.
It’s a pandemic these days how many of us feel continual overwhelm.
I see it in the executives I coach, I see it in leaders everywhere, and I see it in school children.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Focused, Engaged, Present
I recently spent time coaching a team of scientists leading a large scale project for NIH and we uncovered an unlikely conversation. I asked them to distinguish between what they mean when they say “focused” versus “engaged” versus “being present” at a meeting or with the teams they lead. I was surprised to learn that in their particular frame of reference “being present” meant nothing more than a body in attendance – physically there. They defined “focused” as thinking about how the conversation applies to you and “engaged” as thinking about how the conversation applies to the purpose of the meeting/team and others.
Intrigued, I brought this conversation to several Leading Coach colleagues, and we determined that for us, “being present” had a different meaning, and that it’s useful to begin with a baseline understanding of your clients’ distinctions around terms we often use very casually. My scientist clients were initially unwilling to accept the concept of disarming their always discerning, evaluative, analytical mind in favor of any other kind of being or listening.
Most Leading Coaches, I surmise, would distinguish “Being Present” as fully attending to someone, empathetic, with suspension of your assessing, judging evaluations. No attention on your own thoughts/processing. No analysis. No judgment. It is active in that when you are present in the conversation you are really seeking to understand. Probing questioning looking for clarity. Proactive listening. Listening for the deeper layers so you can take the conversation to another level. Right? What am I missing? Be sure to login and add your comments below this post, I really want to hear what you have to say about this!
Being Present is the Antidote to Overwhelm
Here’s my premise:
“Being Present” is the antidote to DISTRACTION, which is the culprit that creates overwhelm in the first place. Overwhelm and distraction act as a virtual mobius strip…bending and melding into one another in a seamless circle of motion where one becomes the other and vice versa. Think about it: you are working on a project for a client presentation and you are doing a bit of research online. You are focused on creating your Powerpoint deck or webinar slides and suddenly an email catches your eye that requires you to quickly check something online and respond. Then, before you know it you’re 20 minutes into emails and YIKES! you remember that you’re supposed to be working on this presentation. You return to your task at hand now overwhelmed by how much is left to do. Or maybe you’re focused on reviewing a series of deliverables from an employee, analyzing their work product and you’re paying attention to their work on all cylinders when someone pops his head into your office for a quick question or joke. You’ve now lost your train of attention, and when you return to your previous state of focused flow, you’ve lost 20 minutes of productivity time. Ay! Distractions are what cause overwhelm. And life in the Age of Social Media is fraught with distractions. We can’t even read something online without being tempted to go down various rabbit holes by clicking on extraneous distractions that are seemingly connected to what we came to the internet to do in the first place.
So what’s the distinction between Focus and Being Present?
Focus is an active act requiring effort. You command your brain to attend on all fronts to the task or person at hand.
Being Present is an inactive act requiring letting go. You release distractions and just BE. As human beings we can’t exactly eliminate distractions, so that’s not the goal here. We can, however avoid distractions by actively BEING present.
The secret is the early detection of distractions.
If you can detect a potential onslaught of distractions prior to their causing overwhelm, you can intervene at the point of loss of focus. When you or a client is experiencing overwhelm, there are two things to do: 1. avoid distractions and 2. get present.
1K Club
Renee Barnow
October 28, 2009 at 2:48 am
Thank you Suzi. I love the distinction, especially as reading and responding to e-mail as I am now doing can so easily become a distraction. I’m loving the availability of the distraction, which I use as a break from focused energy/action while here in remote N. Germany where I came to focus on writing 1st draft of my 3rd book.
When I first started coaching (after training), I developed a goal/focus game I invited clients to play. Along the board were stops labeled distractions.
Common end result of being both focused and engaged is flow.
Andrea Moretti-Adimari
October 28, 2009 at 4:44 am
Thank you Suzi – I love this piece. As (ironically) per our email exchange last night, I was introduced to Aikido as part of my research on “dismantling the barriers to the right person, in the right place, at the right time, with the right feeling”. Aikido is about harnessing and guiding a positive connection – and the feed-back loop is ever so efficient – allow the slightest distraction/negativity to enter your mind mid-move, and “feedback” is provided quasi-instantaneously courtesy of the mat. So to concur with you, the paradox may be that sometimes, when most busy, the best next step may be “no step at all”, in order to allow that feeling/intuition of being present to resurface. But however much I may believe this “10/10” in theory, boy is it proving hard to reprogramme even just my own behavioural patterns to manifest 10 out of 10 effortless connected soft landings!
Miles Kierson
October 30, 2009 at 3:36 pm
My guess is you are on the right track, connecting the cause of overwhelm to not being present (I laughed when you mentioned the different meaning of the phrase “to be present” – a laughter of recognition of the differences). It seems to me, you are “in overwhelm” when you are not present to the moment and your mindspace is filled with a bunch of to-do’s in the so-called “future”. If you can just relax and be here (here!), then it is clear you can only do one thing at a time, you can pick the most important thing and do that, and then do the next thing, and then the next thing. Paradoxically, then, one can be “cured” of overwhelm in a second, but it may take some time to get a client prepared for that second. For those who have no concept of “being in the present”, it could take weeks, years, lifetimes:).
Suzi Pomerantz, Community Instigator & Resident Networking Maven
October 30, 2009 at 9:26 pm
So true, Miles! I love the concept of being “cured” in an instant!
Indeed, Andrea! Congruent to your Aikido training, I often talk with my clients about “right action plus right timing = right results”.
Great distinction, Renee! I do believe you’re onto something…”flow” is the antidote to overwhelm!
Renita T. Kalhorn
October 31, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Overwhelm is such a modern concept. Back in the agricultural age when we were all farmers, life was linear — you couldn’t churn the butter until you had milked the cow.
Now, at any given moment, we could be working on any number of things of equally high priority. So I think the shift from overwhelm to flow (which I agree, is the antidote) begins, as Miles said, with a deliberate intention of where to focus one’s attention. And externally, nothing else needs to change — what a relief!
Suzi Pomerantz, Community Instigator & Resident Networking Maven
November 1, 2009 at 7:57 pm
What a great perspective, Renita! It IS a relief, because ultimately, we and our clients have control over where we place our attention. The trick is to remember that! :)
Andrea Moretti-Adimari
November 3, 2009 at 10:42 am
Please allow me to be a little controversial here by going even more retro than Renita :) . If I have a strong vision of what I want, but I’m not getting it, I may feel overwhelmed by my lack of control in attempting to secure my (metaphoric) Holy Grail. If I flip my construct from “how can this moment best serve me?” to “how can I best serve the opportunities offered to me by this unique moment based on the talents and resources within my control?”, then possibly the emotional pressures and biases will diminish, and our focus (“in da Zone”) will improve? ; 0 )
Suzi Pomerantz, Community Instigator & Resident Networking Maven
November 3, 2009 at 10:48 am
So are you saying that if we can decrease our own emotional responses and biases we can access flow?
Andrea Moretti-Adimari
November 7, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Thank you Suzi. Yes – a simple choice between “Fight Life to try to carve out what you want, or Surf what it presents you with to the best of your abilities, trusting that everyone will end up better off without you formally commanding the rudder”. Can be pretty scary, particularly at the beginning, hence why it’s sometimes called the Leap of Faith. Dr. Robin Skynner presents the hard data about how those who take it outperform those who don’t, in any field of human interaction, and as reason alone cannot get our clients over the chasm, only our sustained magnetic example can create that “When Harry met Sally – I would like some of that” curiosity to begin the process.
Lowell Nerenberg
December 24, 2009 at 11:02 am
Suzi, thank you for helping me formulate a new model for powerfully addressing my personal challenge of getting things done. Combining Being Present and Focus speaks loudly to me. Being Present with a client – or any other human being for that matter – is clearly special and powerful. However, Being Present to a task at hand, especially when I have some resistance to it, never entered my mind until now. Simply holding being present to a task as a way of being is a whole new possibility for me. It’s an “inactive act,” as you say. It does not require what we commonly call “effort.” I tend to dislike effort so much, I sometimes procrastinate or even quit instead.
Focus, an “active act,” has therefore been a challenge, especially in the realm of getting things done. Yet, with this new ground of being called Being Present, the way is pre-paved. Suddenly, “doing” Focus seems less challenging for me to bring forth from within.
In other words, and in less words, I am taking on this one-two punch of Being Present and Focus, and will practice that practice!
Suzi Pomerantz, Community Instigator & Resident Networking Maven
December 25, 2009 at 10:25 pm
BRAVO, Lowell! I’m eager to hear your observations, insights, and a-ha moments as you explore this new practice! And welcome to the community. It’s a delight to have you on board! :)