The trauma of coping with family and friends
When one decides to share his secret, concerning PTSD, with his family and partner, one has to cope with a new kind of traumatic experience. There are various kinds of reaction by close relatives to such exposure, but simple understanding and support is seldom one of them. Since PTSD is interpreted by the public as a kind of mental illness, many people are still deterred by the stigma. These kinds of reactions are so painful and traumatic that many PTSD victims disconnect themselves from their partners and families, and do not expose their difficulties any more.
The trauma of coping with the bureaucracy of the helping systems
Israel could be the international center for methods and information concerning PTSD. Wars and terror are part of everyday life in Israel, and hundreds of thousands of Israelis were exposed to traumatic experiences. Paradoxically, the terms ‘shell shock’ and ‘post-trauma’ were not accepted in either the professional jargons or the spoken language of Israel. The military administration in Israel did not want to recognize shell shock and post-trauma and believed that such recognition might weaken the spirit of the soldiers. The civil society in Israel (which is not tolerant of people who are deviating from the conventional system) labels post-traumatic victims as traitors, spoiled or insane. Although the term PTSD became familiar in Israel during the last decade, the helping systems and administration in this country are still alienated. Most of PTSD victims are not treated and no serious attempts have been made in Israel to develop new therapeutic approaches in the treatment of PTSD.
This same condition exists in the United States and in many other countries in which trauma occurs as a result of wars, terror, violence or natural disasters. Post-trauma is not visible as are other kinds of injury, and human beings prefer to ignore intimidating phenomena as much as they can. For PTSD victims, who need support and recognition, this reaction is hard and distressing. Soldiers who have been exposed to traumatic events during a war or civilians have been present during horrifying events (such as a terrorist attack or hurricane) need to be treated by the official helping system within a short period of time after the event. Unfortunately, post-traumatic symptoms appear a long time after the event. It can take weeks, months or many years after the traumatic event. The helping system does not support people who were exposed to traumatic events, and in most cases, they have no means to support people who ask for help. No one can anticipate the long-term effects of the trauma and each PTSD victim processes the symptoms in a special and unique way. The best support at the time of the event can be made by family members and close friends, who can accept the trauma and offer continuing emotional support.
PTSD victims usually approach the helping systems many months (or even years) after the traumatic event. They do so after coping alone with the increasing symptoms, the traumatic process of being aware to the trauma, and the traumatic reactions of their family members. The interaction with the helping systems is hard and traumatic, since it involves meetings with officials and administrators that have no helping qualifications, and demand proofs for each claim.
During this stage, PTSD victims are vulnerable and anxious, and each interaction increases their pain and their disbelief. They are forced to see specialists and medical boards, and hire lawyers that will represent them. This exhausting process may take months or years, and many PTSD victims prefer to give up and stop it before there are any results. PTSD victims who can survive this painful process and are entitled to be supported by the helping systems must depend on the administration as long as they need support. This means that in spite of its proclaimed role, the helping system is also a factor that enhances the trauma.
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