NO! An Ontological Perspective

An ontological perspective recognizes US as the unity of human being. Not metaphorically, poetically, ideally, or wishfully. Children in the womb and their mothers are living and relating as a single US. This remains so after our children are born, even though there is the appearance of a distinctly existing physical body. In our being we are an US. It lasts until children begin the profound ontological expression of screaming NO in reaction to learning how to be human in the way our human societies have insisted. We teach them to be individual human selves, and then we complain that children are too much ME, MY, MINE oriented. After that, they grow up looking for US in all their relationships: families, marriages, lovers, friends, brothers & sisters, sports, clubs, favorite hangouts, and even in their teams at work. We start with US at conception as a basic ontological unity of our human being. And then we move far away from that with a focus only on our own individuality, consciousness, and self.

This is not a war between US versus SELF, nor are we making a case for an ontological perspective versus a psychological one. We know the world we are living in has been generated from the point of view of the SELF as the psychological unity of human being. We are in the middle of it. Reconstituting our world to include US as the ontological unity of being is both an opportunity and a distinct possibility.

We humans have been missing the balance and harmony of US. When the balance and harmony of a child’s US is threatened, a NO will show up. Sex without US becomes oppressive, abusive, and potentially criminal. Even in the normal adult fun of sexual seduction, if there is no US there will be a NO. If we interact with animals without US, there will always be a NO to human domination. All life forms on earth and even the earth itself know how to express NO in their own ways. If we would only listen!

This is what NO is all about. The coaching context of results in our daily interactions at home and work is important to continue. But there is also something important beyond it. The freedom to say NO can only be lived with another – when an US is already there. When there is slavery, servitude, domination, and a lack of freedom to say NO, then there is the denial of the US that is always there.

Proposing US is not an innovative theory, new abstraction, or transformational distinction. US is. US is concealed behind the SELF. It is not a pipe dream or fantasy — WE are.

Photo Credit: NASA.GOV