In her book “The Culture Shock tool Kit”, Margarita Gokun Silver summarizes the three strategies that she believe can help an expat survive the culture shock of a move.
“Strategy 1 – change your perspective
Strategy 2 – Increase positivity in your relationship with another culture
Strategy 3 – Decrease your negativity”
As Coaches we can use powerful questions to reframe the expat spouses perspective from one of fear and negativity to one of wonder and enjoyment. By working with an expat spouse and allowing him/her to embrace life in a new country, the dynamics within the entire family can change. As demonstrated in the case study with “Carla”, once the spouse was happy, the children became more confident and accepting of their situation.
Conclusion
The expat lifestyle is fraught with challenges. It is a leap of faith for families who are prepared to throw themselves into a new country, new culture and new experience. While the whole family undergoes change, it is the expat spouse who carries the burden of setting up the new life and supporting the family as they adapt. This is a huge role, and one that carries enormous responsibility. However, with the right support network to help the spouse, the transition can be made easier.
With help of a Life Coach an expat spouse can discover that not only can a move to a new country be rewarding, it can be a learning experience, and a time for Personal growth. New skills are learnt along the way that many spouses don’t even realize they are acquiring. To walk into a room full of strangers and have to start talking to people and making friends can be incredibly daunting, but it can also help build self-confidence. Learning to negotiate your way around a foreign city can be frustrating, but it also takes courage and determination. Not being able to work can open the door to exciting opportunities to do further study or indulge a hobby that had been put aside due to lack of time.
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Maureen Morton
May 10, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Dear Karen
I found this article fascinating. I often wondered and marvelled at how you coped and were coping in those early years. To have remembered and written it down is so worth while and I hope it will go into the reading package of every new expat, wherever they are going.
I can also see a career blossoming for you, wherever you are, by introducing this concept, of providing a coach to expatriate spouses in the early days of their moves, to the Human resources manager of companies. You could certainly sell the idea on the basis of cost alone, when you think how much money they lose when an employee goes home early because the family cannot settle in a new country.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I really enjoyed reading it.
Nothing like the usual academic waffle
love and hugs
Maureen
Truth always
May 12, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Hey, Karen doesn’t mention here the really telling background story of how she came to be an expatriate, leaving her former policeman husband for her current one that’s a banker, with three kids under 10 at the time. Plenty of grey facts about whether it was adultry as well. Not sure I would recommend her services as a lifecoach. Amazing how some people re brand themselves so anyone needing marketing tips should follow her advice. Also one of her current family members seems to be leaving the positive notes. Karen as a lifecoach is the funniest thing I could ever imagine. Would be interesting to hear her guidance in ethics or family morals
e.curran
May 14, 2013 at 4:09 am
Truth always , isn’t it strange how people like you do not use their real name especially when they are leaving negative views, or just their side of a story.
vorameghana
May 30, 2013 at 2:55 am
Expatriate is very important, especially for those who travel to different countries for work purposes. Expatriate can be anyone which chooses to live in a country other than the motherland.http://www.whatisall.com/people/what-is-an-expatriate.html