She was silent for a time. “I guess I don’t know how to be a good manager. That’s not one of my skill sets. And there are so many things to
consider. . . . ”
Alice could see that Dr. Yelyuk was beginning to feel overwhelmed. When her clients start to count all the issues the assessments have brought
to light, Alice tries to reframe the coaching engagement into WIIFM: What’s in it for me, the client?
“We’re going to work on management skills,” Alice reassured her. “That’s why I’m here. And you’ll find that you can get a lot of help from
your staff if you ask for it. You have a great staff, but you haven’t been asking for their help enough.”
“Why don’t I know these things? I’m 44 years old and I’m an experienced surgeon. I present at conferences. People ask me for advice.” She
threw up her hands in frustration.
“You don’t know these things because you didn’t learn them in medical school, and you didn’t serve an apprenticeship. But we’re going to work together on the things you need to learn. I want to assure you that this is very feasible.”
A secret skill of the executive coach trade that doesn’t show up on a resume is reassuring people. Change can be a scary thing; because Alice has
dealt with it all the time, she’s become skilled at encouraging her clients and keeping them on the right track. In terms of techniques for providing reassurance, Alice speaks warmly and from the heart. Some clients, like Dr. Yelyuk, need this more than others. From Yelyuk’s interpersonal profile, Alice understood her very high need for inclusion; this meant anything that seemed to threaten her relationships with her staff (her “family”) triggered anxiety. This time, at least, she was able to take in Alice’s reassurance.
“I feel like I did when I first came to this country from Ukraine,” she confessed. “Scared, unsure of everything . . . but I learned, and pretty soon
things didn’t seem so strange. Like you say, this is doable. I can do this.”
Week 5: Blind Spots
Before Alice and her coaching client set out to formulate any goals, the
client has to acknowledge that there are problems. Often, the problems
are obvious—and if not, they show up very clearly in the 360-degree
assessment. The opinions expressed in the 360 lay out the things that
need to be dealt with; and because her clients are smart, perceptive
people, they usually see that changes are necessary. Sometimes, however,
there are blind spots that need to be talked through. Dr. Yelyuk’s
main blind spot was that she wasn’t aware she lacked management
skills; another was how barging ahead with surgeries one after the other
affected her staff and created potential danger for her patients.
“Eleven surgeries in one day? No, I can’t believe I ever did that
many.”
