Coaching the Mentors: Leaders can also learn about mentoring from a coach. Taking an appreciative perspective, the coach can invite their client to look back in time while also looking forward. The backward look is an invitation to identify moments when the leader was already doing some mentoring—perhaps with their own children, with members of a sports team that they are coaching, or simply in their daily interaction with a new hire or someone they supervise who just took on a new assignment. This is a expansion on “catching them when they’re doing it right.”
By looking back in time for moments of skillful enactment, the coach is showing their client that they already “know how to do it right.” They just need to determine how best to replicate their skillful behavior in specific settings. The coach asks: “so what did you say to that kid playing third base when they hit their first home run; they seem to have been energized by what you told them; and what about the kid who threw out the other kid trying steal second base; once again, you seem to have had a positive impact.” Or the coach might offer the following inquiry: “you took that new hire around to meet the people with whom they would be working; it seems to have gone well; what did you ask their new colleagues to say about the workplace in which they are both about to spend eight hours a day/”
Then there is the matter of “leaning” and “learning” forward regarding mentoring, The coach can do a bit of teaching that builds on what their client already knows (identified when look backward to “catch them doing it right”). As a coach, it is often appropriate to share some of what we know about effective mentoring—including some of the insights we offer in this essay (based on the insights offered by our Sage leaders). The past is integrated with the future—that is how we “lean” and “learn” into the future. As we are about to note, these insights from other people are particularly valuable in helping one to make the challenging transition from doer to mentor and from being the champion to being the cheerleader.
Transition to Mentoring
Many of our Sage leaders, whether emerging or senior, reflect on the transition between being “take charge” and “doing it myself” leaders to a more collaborative and mentor-based role. One of our Emerging Sage leaders offers the following reflection:
“When I was younger, I was very driven and results oriented. I had to lead by example, and perfection was the goal. Now I view my leadership role more as mentor and coach, giving others the skills to move-up and move on and better themselves and not so much focus on myself. Helping others grow into those roles, not having it be only myself.”
Another of our Sage leaders identified the transition primarily in terms of not taking ownership for everything herself (keeping the “monkey” off her back):
“I’ve gotten better at not over-committing by learning when to say “no.” I also balance my time better than I did in the past and have more self-acceptance about wherever I’m at in my learning process. And I’m finding more ways to let go of responsibilities and create the opportunity for other people to step forward. When just I take the lead, it doesn’t create much space for other people to step-up. I also now recognize the ego trip I get from being the one person who does it all. I’m trying to give more from my heart, rather than from a place of wanting recognition.”
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