XI. The Enduring Role of Generativity One as Leader and Grandparent

Dan also exemplifies the special role of grandparent as playmate, silly performer and the reborn-child:

Speaking about grand parenting, I really like to play children’s games and read with them. I love to do this. Even my grandchildren who are approaching teen years enjoy hide-and-seek, for example. I get lots of joy from that. I trace this to the fact that I didn’t play a lot of games when I was a child; I lived on a farm and had no siblings. I was surrounded by loving adults, but I didn’t play a lot as a child. I did when my kids were growing up, and now I am completely free to just be a kid myself!

What a wonderful opportunity for Generativity One on the part of Dan. Here we see the former university president playing games with his grandkids— a wonderful sight and a lovely and loving experience for both grandpa and grandkids. And what a healing moment this is for Dan to do the playing he never did as a child himself and (we suspect) never did as a hard-working and accomplished leader of a large and very traditional organization.

We find that generative grand parenting is not just a source of renewal for the grandparent and a frequent source of great joy for the grandchild; it is also sometimes a source of much needed support for the parenting child who is in trouble, who is trying to hold down a job as a single parent, or who simply could use a healing hand in a world that makes many demands on a young parent’s life. While in many societies the extended family is common, with grandparents living with or nearby their children and grandchildren, this kind of “automatic” and socially sanctioned support is much less common in contemporary Western societies. Family systems tend to be much more disengaged, and it is fortunate to even have two parents living together with their children. We return to the narrative of Lisa, our fourth Featured Player, whom we noted earlier has faced many challenges in being a parent to her disabled nephew. Lisa is also facing challenges as a parent to her grandson. She exemplifies what we call necessitated Generativity One on the part of a grandparent: