Similarly, Vaillant can provide guidance in helping a coaching client address one of the most challenging of all emotions. This is Forgiveness. As Vaillant (2008, p. 135) notes, forgiveness is not some “bleeding-heart, Sunday school platitude.” Rather, in quoting Robert Enright and his associates, Vaillant suggests that forgiveness is “a willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment, negative judgment and indifferent behavior towards one who unjustly injured us, while fostering the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity and even love toward him or her.” Now this is positive psychology put fully to the test! With this remarkable reframing of our perspective and practice regarding someone who has injured us comes a major benefit. “Surprisingly,” according to Vaillant (2008, p. 135), “peace of mind comes more in forgiving others than in being forgiven. A paradox.” Imagine what emotional power comes from helping a coaching client reframe their own resentment, judgement or indifference regard someone in their life.
These brief excepts from George Vaillant’s Spiritual Evolution provide a glimpse of the many illuminating insights to be extracted from this book with regard to coaching strategies and practices. One doesn’t have to accept the notion that spirituality holds an evolutionary advantage to gain many benefits from George Vaillant’s thoughtful and extensive review of relevant research.
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References
Bergquist, William (2003) Creating the Appreciative Organization, Harpswell, Maine: Pacific Soundings Press.
Seligman, Martin and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (2000), Positive Psychology: An Introduction. American Psychologist, 55 (1), pp. 5-14.
Vaillant, George (2008) Spiritual Evolution. New York: Broadway Books.
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