What occurs when a coach is working with her client on difficult issues that may evoke fear-based templates arising from the Amygdala? How does a coach either bypass or counter the emotional impact of these templates? First, I would advise the coach to be thoughtful, caring, and patient. Once a threat template is activated, it can be engaged indiscriminately to include the coach himself. Second, the coach should “appreciate” the fear manifested by his client. “I can certainly appreciate why you might feel anxious at this point, for there are several good reasons to worry about what might occur.” The coach can then articulate some of the “good reasons.”
The coach, at this point, is not only being empathetic, they are also being a bit rational and objective regarding their client’s fears. At this point, the client can themselves become a bit more rational and objective. As a coach, I often increase the “objectivity” by listing the “good reasons” on a flip chart or at least on a piece of paper. It is then possible to identify some of the “good reasons” not to be quite so fearful and some “good ideas” regarding how best to address these fears. What actions can be taken that reduce the sense of helplessness and hopelessness that often accompany the activation of the amygdala’s fear-based template?
Third, it is important to recall that the role of a coach does not include exploring the initial source of any emotion. The coach is not in the business of somehow “correcting” the emotion; rather, she is in the business of helping her client manage the emotion as it has been elicited in the present situation. This “at-the-moment” managing of emotions can be just as beneficial as an in-depth analysis of the emotions’ etiology.
Stress Ruts, Self-Addiction, and Coaching
We establish “stress ruts” when exposed repeatedly to real or imagined threats. These ruts are grooved deeper with each stressful event and lead to permanent structural changes in our nervous/hormonal systems. We become increasingly vulnerable (“trigger-happy”) to stress. “Trigger-happy” somatic templates dominate the polystatic process. Anticipatory reactions are warped and focused on events and people out in the world who can justify our emotional reactions. Most importantly, we must acknowledge that stress-ruts do not go away over time. Permanent links are established between our prefrontal cortex and our limbic system. We must avoid establishing these strong links rather than assuming that these links will go away or that some drug (alcohol, tobacco, tranquilizer) will provide a stress-related roadblock.
How might a coach assist her client in identifying and even seeking to avoid or reduce the impact of these stress ruts? First, the coach can encourage his client to reduce the number of stress-producing events in her life. Obviously, this is not a simple assignment. The stress is often associated with a client’s job. As a coach, one can at least suggest that a client set aside their work when at home, take more frequent vacations, or plan for more “coffee breaks” (preferably drinking something other than heavily caffeinated coffee).
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