Apparently, the neuro-chemical reactions of a patient in psychotherapy (especially when it is long-term and depth oriented) more closely resemble that of an intimate relationship than that of a friendship—and these neurochemicals are released in both the patient and therapist. The processes called “transference” and “countertransference” may be something more than the replication of patterns and images from previous intimate relationships (including parents). These processes may involve the release of neurochemicals that are the same as those released in our intimate relationships.
From a polystatic perspective, it is as if we are playing a trick on our body when we enter into a psychotherapeutic relationship. We begin to “believe” that this is an intimate relationship (transference) and anticipate that romance is soon to ensue. Our body prepares for this romantic encounter believing what our brain has indicated is about to occur. Conversely, the anticipation in a counselling relationship is that this will more closely resemble a friendship than an intimate relationship. Our body prepares for the friendship, preparing much as it does when we meet with a colleague for lunch.
What about the coaching relationship? Is it more like a friendship than an intimate relationship? What if coaching, like therapy, releases neurochemicals that replicate intimate relationships? What are implications for the profession of coaching? I have already mentioned that we must remind ourselves as professional coaches that we are not psychotherapist; yet our neurobiological system might be declaring that we are doing therapy and are “in love” with our client. Boundaries are suddenly important.
Even if we aren’t “in love” with our client (and they aren’t “in love” with us), there is still the pull toward gaining a strong emotional “hit” from our client. For instance, we now know that the simple act of giving advice will often give us a hit of dopamine. While our client might be reflecting on our advice in a detached and rational manner, this advice is having a much less detached and rational impact on us when we deliver it. We must be reflective of our own coaching practices (Schön, 1983) and continually determine the real reason while we are often specific services (advice) to our client.
Taking Action
Emotions not only provide us with feelings about the world in which we live, they also provide us with the “get-up-and-go” that we need when getting out of bed in the morning or taking decisive action regarding a pressing matter at our worksite. Apparently, one of the most difficult things for human beings to do (with regard to neuro-processing) is to move from thought to action. A large portion of our brain “lights up” when we make the decision to do something (what in the old days we would call “will power.”)
These are also the areas of the brain that are often impacted by clinical depression. The sense of hopelessness and helplessness that was first articulated by Martin Seligman (1992) aligns with the inability for us to assemble all the parts of our brain needed to move to action. Bringing in the somatic markers of Antonio Damasio (2005), we might speculate that these markers are the points where the many necessary parts of the brain come together when pushing us out of bed or moving us to action regarding that critical decision.
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