Finally, there is the matter of openness and disclosure. I inform John of something that he already knows in his heart. The higher the position and more authority one has in an organization, the less ability one has to share and disclose. I have written a series of essays about treating what Wilhelm Reich (1980/1933) called Character Armor. I focus on healing the Wizard of Oz’ Tim Man, who exemplifies the rigidity and lack of access to heart that are common about those fortified by character armor (Bergquist, 2023a, 2023b, 2023c, 2023d).
Many people in formal positions of authority (such as police officers, judges, and physicians) wear uniforms not only to project this authority, but also to protect themselves (character armor). We don’t know much about these people in uniforms; furthermore, even when a person in authority (who must be “responsible”) wears no uniform, they must not say much about themselves or about how they are feeling at any one moment concerning their reactions to the person they are serving.
Psychotherapists, lawyers – and administrators—are to keep their feelings and personal stories to themselves. John acknowledged this restriction when he mentioned that I, as his coach, is the only person he can talk to about what is most deeply bothering him in his role as law firm administrator. John is not alone in this regard. Many professional clients and clients in positions of authority have similarly shared with me that I am the one person with whom they can share their emotions and the basis for these emotions. They anticipate that disclosure at their worksite would be unacceptable.
I recall sitting on the bleachers of a baseball field near the hospital where my client served as director of a specific department. We both looked out at the field and imagined a game being played. My client would slowly reveal some of his deepest concerns, using a baseball metaphor to convey these concerns (“I’m afraid I will strike out.”) (“They are going to throw me a curve ball, and I won’t be able to hit it.”). He was only able to share these concerns by leaving his office, facing out to the baseball field (rather than facing me), and conveying all of his deep concerns in metaphor. Only under these conditions did he feel comfortable with his disclosures. Power and authority certainly come at a big price when it comes to sharing feelings and concerns.
A quite poignant set of observations was shared with John. The higher the position, the more power and the more authority one has, the greater is the possibility that anticipations will be based primarily on emotions, rather than on an accurate appraisal of one’s setting. Feedback from other people is likely to be distorted and inappropriately motivated. Rewards anticipated from one’s environment are often absent, while unanticipated kickback may frequently occur. As a result, accurate cognition and appropriate behavior are sometimes quite elusive. As a leader, one is likely to rely on Emotions, given the unreliability of either cognition or behavior. This is the opposite of what should be expected from those in a leadership role.
Emotions and the Anchor
As we bring anticipation into the picture, the concept of Emotional Anchor is important. There are points or events in our daily experience that bring us back to a fundamental emotion. In the genre of popular music, this event can be the refrain—the return to the main theme of the piece of music. This refrain typically conveys in song and in lyrics some basic emotion—be it love, longing, sorrow, or regret.
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