Susan begins looking online for another job. One of the other Vice Presidents asks to meet with her. He reveals that Susan’s boss is quite angry about how she “went over his head” (though she was only responding to a request made by the corporate board). The VP is also aware that Susan’s boss is uncomfortable with Susan’s “pushy” style—as are some other male leaders in their organization. Apparently, in some quarters of their insurance company, it is acceptable for a male to be “assertive” but not for a woman to be “bossy.” The VP shares his own frustration with Susan’s boss and with the chauvinism of other senior executives in their company. He asked Susan “to hang in there.” Susan appreciates the support he offers; however, she still begins looking for a new job.
There is not likely to be any future fit between her “bossy” orientation and the need for a new HR vision and course of committed action in this insurance company. While commitment to vision and values requires some assertiveness, the heavy-handed way in which Susan approached the task wasn’t going to work—though Susan’s boss certainly didn’t help matters. We wonder about his own vision, values, and motives. Chauvinism also made matters worse. It seems that assertiveness in a woman who provides leadership is not acceptable.
Coaching Susan
While as a coach, I could assist Susan in identifying another job and perhaps even assist her in promoting herself when meeting with a prospective employer, I entered the coaching relationship with Susan on behalf of Susan’s desire to consider ways to remain in her current organization. I am fully aware that a successful coaching engagement with Susan that enables her to remain with this corporation would be warmly welcomed by members of the corporate C-Suite (and particularly the president of this corporation). Not only is Susan’s forceful style widely supported by those leading her corporation, a potential public relations “disaster” would ensue if this woman of color were to leave a position of leadership in such a short period of time.
How then would I approach my coaching with Susan? As I have already noted, the domain of ideas is often of greatest importance for those working in large, modern organizations. People filled with ideas and oriented toward action are aligned with the primary values (“Bottom-line mentality”) and perspectives (“win-lose”) of corporate life. Susan is respected precisely because she is a woman of action (having set up the task force) and is unwilling to accept “No” (even though living in a world where minority status is still often associated with powerlessness).
Before moving to ideas and actions, I wish to begin more “softly” by gathering more information. I first want to take an appreciative stance regarding Susan’s relationship with her boss: “When has your boss been effective?” “What are moments when your boss has been supportive of your work?” “Tell me about a time since you took this job when you have been most gratified and most interested in staying in this administrative position?” While Susan might initially be asserting that her job has “NEVER!” been enjoyable and her boss has always been impossible to deal with, I will gently encourage her to look beyond her emotional state and find something good in her current situation. This appreciative perspective can be of great value in helping her forge plans (ideas and actions) to ameliorate the current difficulties.
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