Many people we have interviewed, such as Bessy and Bill, discovered that their life values began to settle securely in place in the early years of child rearing or building a shared project. Generativity One has a way of powerfully anchoring what is truly important in their lives. Typically, responsibilities are firmly and clearly assigned, whereas before the birth of a child or the initiation of a shared project these responsibilities were more likely to be loosely framed, readily shifted, or even ignored. Like many couples, Bill and Bessy made the choice to identify an “equal and logical way” of distributing their time with their young daughter and of distributing household chores associated with child-rearing. As in many heterosexual relationships, the woman tends to assign duties and responsibilities. In the case of Bessy and Bill, each partner had particular household chores that they had done for many years. Bessy did the wash and Bill took the clothes out of the dryer and put them away. With the introduction of diapers and baby cloth into the equation, Bessy and Bill simply expanded their responsibilities in the same areas to accommodate the new demand. Bessy had more clothes to wash and Bill had more clothes to dry and fold. As their daughter, Trudy, grew older, she was also assigned chores.
Other couples are not so sanguine about the assignment of duties and responsibilities; yet, if a couple is to establish viable norms for child-rearing or project-building, the increased pressures and work demands inside the relationship typically require that they establish firmer boundaries and clearer expectations. Whether raising children or building a project, a couple is clearly in a “business” and must establish business-like rules or they risk destruction of their relationship.
Bessy and Bill kept using terms like protection, safety, security, responsibility and pride in their child-rearing when talking about their relationship. They had created a life that embodied all of these values, specifically with regard to their role as parents. Bessy’s interest in child-rearing provided continuity in their relationship. The interviewer suggested that Bessy and Bill’s own personal need for protection, safety, security and shared responsibility was the key to their mutual interest in these values. So In seeking security and safety for their own children, Bessy and Bill created a home that was safe and secure for themselves.
Download Article 1K Club
