Conclusions
We can learn from the couple we identified earlier in this chapter: Glenda and Kurt. They can teach us about effective ways in which to adopt flexible, non-gender defined roles in raising children. And we can learn from Oprah Winfrey about ways in which to be generative with children outside the family. We also can learn from men and women who wish to raise their children in a satisfactory manner and engage Generativity One by participating in major projects that impact the lives of children outside their own family. These people want to have it both ways, and they often find this multi-goal process to be quite difficult.
The Emerging leaders from our Sage Project (ages 25-55) often found it hard to establish the right balance between love and work in their own demanding mid-life world. One Emerging Sage leader shared the story of being a busy administrator of a community project who was also trying to find time for his family. This sage leader expressed the opinion that his family derived some benefits from his civic work, but the trade-off he described seemed less than convincing:
Last night I came home pretty worthless and exhausted. My daughter asked if we could go shoot some hoops and I said, “OK, in just a minute.” Next thing I know, I’ve dozed off. That’s an example of not having anything left on some days for my family. Also, in a leadership position in the department it’s very hard to walk away and have an extended vacation. We take a number of nickel and dime vacations but haven’t done a long trip in a while. So, family life suffers a bit. On the flip side, my kids have met a number of people or had experiences they wouldn’t otherwise get. For example, they are very comfortable saying hello to the superintendent of schools.
A second Emerging Sage leader told a story that is all too common for men and women who chose to enter the political arena:
Download Article 1K ClubThere is some sacrifice at times, if only because of the need to juggle everything and also be a father. Right now as I’m running a campaign in addition to all of the other things I have going on, so I sometimes I don’t always get to see my kids before they go to bed. I tell myself that it is just temporary, but my wife reminds me there will be something next month, so it is never temporary. But if I am able to help grow our community it will make things better for my kids as well. So it is a win/win situation.
