Fear and Isolation
Some of the Sage leaders believe the reticence is about fear. Fear of putting themselves out there in a civic organization and getting stuck in a mess of complex, all-consuming challenges. Fear of being asked to do something they feel they can’t do, either because of time constraints or lack of direct experience. Perhaps the reticent among older members of the Grass Valley and Nevada City are tired. They find relief in getting away from the politics in which they once worked and often served as leaders for many years. Their silo is safe and comforting. It is reasonable to ask, then, why would anyone want to get drawn back into this milieu when they can be with their friends or plant flowers in solitude.
They might offer their own reasons for noninvolvement in their community: “If I get involved and my commitment grows too large, how do I get out of it and reclaim my personal life?” “It is much easier to find friendships in leisure time activities than build them through civic networks.” “If I am not making money, why would I do it? Why would I do the same thing again, but this time for free?” It is understandable that uninvolved seniors may judge civic work to involve sacrifice if they can’t see personal or community benefits. Unfortunately, they don’t or can’t yet understand that civic involvement is a different kind of work that has its own rewards. If they were fortunate enough to step out of their silo for a moment to meet with a Re-engagement coach, then they might come to this liberating insight.
Perhaps it is a lack of connections in the community. Maybe they don’t need a coach—just need someone to reach out their welcoming hand. Many senior men and women have moved to Grass Valley or Nevada City in recent years and don’t yet know many people. They are on the outside of the core community looking in. No one has asked them to participate in a volunteer activity. Or they may feel that what they have to contribute to their new community won’t be valued. In other instances, new arrivals have moved into gated communities where they get into a year-in-and-year-out routine of playing bridge all day and watching a bit of TV before falling asleep.
Their friendship network becomes limited to other residents in the gated community who share the same values and hold dear the same life priorities. So, their lives outside this community become limited to shopping, banking, and attending the occasional theatrical or musical performance. While these potential Sage leaders do have a “community” it is highly restricted, lacking in diversity or much soul-feeding attraction—at least from the perspective of the Senior Sage leaders whom we interviewed. It should not be surprising that this lifestyle can become numbing and lead to stagnation and despair as the aging process unfolds. They live in a collective silo with all of the amenities—other than most sources of Generative Four gratification.
Life Experiences and Priorities
Another factor might be life experiences. Potential civic leaders may never have had the kind of challenges and support in their lives that motivate them to want to give back to others. They declare, “I don’t do that.” They set aside any possibility that they will taste the benefits of civic involvement. In some instances, the senior leaders in particular have “grown up” in corporate culture. They don’t want to start over in learning how to work and be influential in the culture of service and community-oriented organizations. They had clear status in the corporate world, but this doesn’t translate to the world of volunteers.
