So, this brings me to how I use this technique in my coaching conversations today.
1. First, I request that my client to reflect on how they typically “show up” in these situations. I’ll ask, “What are three words that this person/faction/etc. would use to describe you?” The point of this is to create some empathy for and awareness of how they are normally perceived.
2. I’ll then spend some time asking the client to consider the impact of this perception and, given the anticipated event/conversation, “what they need to be mindful of.”
3. Next, I’ll ask my client to come up with their own Three Words of Being. “How do they need to be perceived in order to be effective?”
4. Finally, we will talk about some specific behaviors and actions that might support their intentions. I’ll ask, “What might this person/group pay attention to that would indicate that you are embodying these three words?”
Many clients report that this technique works quite well for them. They get less concerned about rehearsing and scripting what they want to say and more focused on the energy that will best serve them. The right words and behaviors seem to manifest at the right moment. Give it a try with your clients–I hope they find it equally helpful!