For Susan, there were emerging emotions of regret. While she feared moving on to another job or even leaving her boyfriend and perhaps her community, she also wondered if she had settled for too little in her life. Maybe she never really valued her own “worth” as an employee—or even as a potential spouse. Susan imagined spending the rest of her life in the same town, same boyfriend (or perhaps wife) and same job. She was suddenly pulled toward getting out of her routine. Susan loves old movie musicals—and especially Hello Dolly (starring Barbra Streisand). There is an extended scene filled with both song and dance in which Dolly Levy declared that she is “coming back!” after spending many years hiding out. Susan is suddenly replaying this scene on her old DVD player. Unlike Dolly, Susan never left a vibrant life; however, she might join Dolly in finding a new life (perhaps with a new beau, new job and new community). Does she have enough Trust in her own competence, and can she Trust her own enduring intentions (to remake herself)? Will this mean that she begins to see the world through a new set of lenses. Will the Essence of Trust now include a journey as well as (or instead of) a home?
Rick
Our second case study concerns a man who lives in New York City. He brings a quite different lens to his life than is the case with Susan. Rick moved from mid-sized in Vermont to take a position at an advertising firm in the “Big Apple” (building on his work as advertising director of a mid-size newspaper published in his Vermont community. He lives an “exciting” life of challenge and creativity. A special evening at a Broadway play (often a Stepheon Sondheim musical) is preceded by dinner with a colleague at a “fabulous” New York restaurant. This is followed by post-theater expresso at an off-Broadway bistro—and maybe a latke or slice of cheesecake.
Rick lives for the future and holds a compelling personal vision of the future (Weitz and Bergquist, 2024). He also is in the business of selling visions to the recipients of his advertisements. Rick is literally “hooked” on all of the excitement and challenge in his work life. We now know that “workaholics” like Rick may be addicted to their own adrenaline. Rick might be dependent on his multiple doses of highly caffeinated coffee each day. However, he is certainly dependent on high-voltage, deadline-driven work demands. Days away from work are actually unpleasant for Rick. He is withdrawing from his adrenaline-laced work. As a result, Rick often returns to his office on weekends or works at home on his computer.
Addiction might also be found in Rick’s urban-based interpersonal relationships. They are high-voltage and often challenging—just like his job at the ad agency. Many of the people Rick meets are engaged for only a few minutes. The interactions typically are “transactional” in nature. They are intended for completion of a task rather than for satisfaction of any interpersonal need. When he takes a few minutes to reflect on what is occurring in his interpersonal life, Rick allows one of his favorite Sondheim songs to swirl around his brain: “another 100 people just got off the train.” Rick images that each of the people has a wonderful story to tell! He recalls a World War I song: “How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm after they’ve seen Paree!” For Rick, it is “the Big Apple” not Paree (Paris).
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