Rick has a few friends in New York City. They are mostly associated with his advertising firm. A typical early evening is spent with his ad-men friends at a bar near his place of work. While Rick is not a heavy drinker, he does like to get just a bit high with his friends. At the present time, Rick is not dating anyone. As a handsome, accomplished and energetic Gay man, Rick has no trouble finding men to date. However, he doesn’t find most of his dates to be very pleasurable and he is hesitant to get too involved physically and emotionally given the lingering fears of sexually transmitted diseases. Even with his hesitation about getting involved with one other person, Rick trusts the journey he is on while living and working in New York City. He holds a Lens that reveals deeply felt emotions of Trust in his own ability to live in this vibrant city (competence), in the sincerity of his own commitment to work in the field of advertising (the facet of intentions) and in the sharing of perspectives and values with most of the people he meets (ever so briefly) and with whom he works (the facet of shared perspective).
The story doesn’t end here regarding the head and heart of our protagonist. In the midst of his powerful experience of Trust, Rick finds the troubling presence of another set of perspectives and values (another Lens). At times, Rick thinks about moving back to Vermont. While there are not a large number of Gay men in his community—and there are still strong negative vibes in his community about Gay relationships—Rick believes that those Gay men who do live in his Vermont community might have more in common with him then those large number of Gay men living in New York City. There is also a lingering uneasiness about the work he is doing. Sometimes, Rick is not finding much gratification in producing and selling ads to clients with products about which he doesn’t really care. He misses the more “honest” work of financially supporting his local newspaper through his work as advertising director. Even though his Vermont newspaper is now struggling to stay alive, Rick sometimes thinks that he could somehow help this newspaper survive (using some of the ideas regarding technology that he has acquired in New York City). An alternative vision of the future has emerged: he envisions becoming a small-town savior rather than a successful urban entrepreneur.
As I have already mentioned, one of the things that Rick loves about living in New York City is attending theater. He enjoys not only a Sondheim musical on Broadway, but also the Avant guard plays that he often attends alone. Rick loves to find a new play at an off-Broadway theater that is edgy and perhaps even controversial. Recently, he attended a play that offered an alternative version of Samual Beckett’s Waiting for Gudot. Instead of waiting for Gudot (God) to show up, the two protagonists (ad executives) are waiting for the new client and for the big dollars that come with this client. Called Waiting for Avidus (Avidus being the Latin word for greed), this play represented a pull for superficial success at the expense of ethics, and an insatiable desire for more money. This play and the theme of greed stayed win Rick for several weeks. He felt that he had no one to talk to about his reactions to Avidus. Something was stirring within him.
While Rick loves the “nontraditional” musicals written by Steven Sondheim, he also admits to a love of old musicals that are to be found “on the Great White Way” (Broadway). He recently attended a revival of Leonard Bernstein’s Wonderful Town. He left the theater with one of the songs lingering in his brain (and heart). It was “Why, oh, Why, oh, did I ever leave Ohio!” Perhaps the tune, “Ohio.” lingered because of its similarity to a favorite theme in one of Brahm’s symphonies. However, “Ohio” might instead be stuck in Rick’s brain because Comden and Green’s lyrics to this song are resonating with a slowly emerging desire to return home. He replaces “Ohio” with “Vermont” and finds himself at times regretting his decision to leave home (“why, oh, why, oh). At times, Sondheim’s “another 100 people getting off the train” can lead Rick to feel exhausted rather than exhilarated. This song (like Waiting for Avidus) can portray the dehumanizing impact of urban life. Rick is pulled by the emotion of regret regarding his decision to leave Vermont. Rick slowly begins to consider a return to Vermont—even if this means the loss of wonderful opportunities afforded by the “Big Apple.” Will the Essence of Trust now include a return to his hometown as well as (or instead of) his ongoing journey of discovery in New York City?
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