I often illustrate these three facets by offering an example taken from the world of interpersonal training. During the last decades of the 20th Century, I often made use of a training exercise called the “Trust Fall.” One member of a workshop stands on a bench or deck and, facing backwards, falls back to be caught by other workshop participants. While this is called a “Trust Fall,” I would suggest that there are three quite different scenarios that could be played out when the Trust Fall occurs. One scenario begins with the request that the falling workshop participant bring their elderly but loving mother to the workshop. She stands below the bench or platform so that she can catch her son or daughter when they fall. This woman has deep, loving concerns regarding the welfare of her offspring; however, she is not competent to catch her son or daughter and is likely to be squished by this falling adult. Both mother and child are hurt. Trust in Competence is critical here.
I offer a second scenario. The person who is to fall begins to insult other members of the workshop. They are accused of being insensitive, stupid or perhaps a bit “ugly.” They don’t particularly like the person falling off the bench or platform. They let this very annoying person simply fall to the ground: “it serves them well!” These workshop participants are competent (they can readily catch the falling person); they just don’t have the welfare of this person at the front of their mind or heart. Trust regarding Intentions plays a critical role in this scenario.
Finally, there is a scenario involving the participation of people from several different countries in the workshop. They speak different languages and don’t know much about the culture of the person who is about to fall off the bench or platform. They wonder about this “strange custom” of people falling backwards off a bench or platform. The person falls back and hits the ground. They are helped up by other workshop participants who ask (through a translator): “do you want to fall again?” The “foreign” workshop participants are competent and are committed to the welfare of all participants in the workshop (after all this is a “global good will” workshop). They just don’t comprehend what is happening. A third facet of Trust is critical here. This is trust regarding the presence of a Shared Perspective.
While there are these three different facets of trust (competence, intentions, perspective), there are also certain fundamental polarizing tensions that exist in the establishment and maintenance of Trust.
The Dynamics of Trust: S² (Home) versus O² (Quest)
I propose that tension provides the source of vibrance for the Essence of Trust. The intense illumination and energy emitting from the Lens of Trust is produced by the pull between Home and Quest. Tension is inherent in (1) the basis of Trust within a safe and secure setting (“home”) and (2) the engagement of Trust when in search of opportunity and when open to new experiences (“quest’). It is in the tension between the two S’s (safety and security) and the two O’s (opportunity and openness) that we find the vibrant presence of Trust. I further propose that the vibrant dynamics of Trust are best portrayed as polarity. The most detailed and compelling portrait of polarities is provided by Barry Johnson in two books: Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems (1992/1996) and a more recent volume called And: Making a Difference by Leveraging Polarity, Paradox or Dilemma (2020).
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