It is important to keep in mind the possibility that one’s client might be addicted to the “high” that comes from successfully confronting a stressful event—or even (like the gambler) anticipating this success. When addicted to one’s own adrenaline, there is a painful process of withdrawal that can be just as severe as that experienced by someone withdrawing from alcohol or an opiate. The withdrawal from one’s own adrenaline will often be manifested as depression or unregulated anger toward other people or toward one’s job.
As a coach, we can assist our client in anticipating that this withdrawal can occur when they reduce their exposure to stressful situations. It is not unusual, for instance, for an “addicted” workaholic to experience depression rather than relief when finally taking a vacation or spending a weekend with their kids. Second, as a coach, we can encourage our client to engage in activities that help to “burn off” the neurochemicals that have been activated by the stress. Physical exercise is often the best vehicle for this “burn off.”
Third, activities are engaged that reduce stress impact more gently. These include medication and other forms of mindfulness, as well as a stroll through the park with a dear friend or spending time playing with one’s own child or a grandchild. A fourth coaching approach involves some life planning that may involve identifying personal values and life purposes weighted against the health-related costs associated with ongoing encounters with stressful events.
Physiological Priming, Intimacy, Actions, and Coaching
Our daily behavior is profoundly impacted by our patterns/decisions regarding sleep, exercise, exposure to light, and the consumption of alcohol, tobacco, and other mind-altering drugs (including caffeine). We not only create stress-ruts but also alter our polystatic anticipations. From a polystatic perspective, we are likely to find that the anticipation of events in our immediate future is saturated with emotions if we are “hyped” up with a strong dose of caffeinated coffee or if we have not slept soundly for several days.
It may be hard to assist other people until they are “physiologically primed” or prepared for this assistance. If we are “trigger-happy” then we are likely to find it hard to address anxiety-provoking issues in our life. It will be difficult to concentrate on a difficult issue if we continue to focus on meeting an addictive need. Should a coach insist that her client be physiologically prepared for the challenges of coaching prior to beginning the coaching process?
Apparently, the neurochemistry associated with the formation of intimate relationships is quite different from the neurochemistry associated with the formation of friendships. In both cases, powerful, chemically based bonds are formed. These bonds are reinforced whenever our intimate or friend appears before us – our body literally “lights up” with neuro-chemical responses – but quite different when the other person is considered a friend rather than an intimate. From a polystatic perspective, it is as if we are playing a trick on our body when we enter into a deeply therapeutic relationship. We begin to “believe” that this is an intimate relationship (transference) and anticipate that romance is soon to ensue. Our body prepares for this romantic encounter, believing what our brain has indicated is about to occur.
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