Tuning in
Listening with an integrated mind takes conscious and consistent practice. Here are four tips to help you access your intuition and positively challenge your clients:
1. Sense what your client is experiencing as you listen.
Don’t just analyze her words, feel what emotions come up for you and reflect to her what you notice without assessing if you are right or wrong.
2. Ask yourself what you are feeling.
Your emotions are likely reacting to what your client is feeling. Either you are experiencing empathy where your brain is mirroring hers or you are feeling anxious because you sense her anger, fear, disappointment or confusion. Ask her if she is feeling the same emotions as you. If her experience is different, she will let you know, thereby creating an opportunity for deeper exploration.
3. Allow your heart and gut to have a voice.
Sit up tall and ground yourself in the present moment. Consciously guide yourself to feel curious (open mind), compassionate (open heart) and courageous (open at your core). Try to keep your head, heart and gut open and balanced while you listen. When you feel uncomfortable, speak and listen more deeply from your gut. When you feel impatient or begin to judge your client, focus on reopening your heart.
4. Use silence to allow your client to form new thoughts and perspectives.
Silence is often an indication that your reflections and questions have penetrated your client’s protective barrier. A new sense of self and reality is trying to emerge. It may take some time before your client can articulate what she now understands to be true. Be quiet while her brain is working.
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