Power of Acknowledgement in Coaching

Impact of Acknowledgement and Acceptance

I resonate with Acknowledgement so much so that I try to use it genuinely with almost everybody in my life and that’s the beauty of it that it can be used anywhere, everywhere, and with anybody and everybody. Most of the times, we forget to tell ourselves how good are we at doing a particular thing – and it could be as simple as handling a particular responsibility.

I would just take a small example of a working woman who is a mother and stays in a nuclear family. She often forgets that she is performing so many roles daily without any complaint. In the morning, she is a nurturing mother and a loving wife; after few hours she changes herself into a professional who understands her responsibilities and focuses on to become as competent as her peer groups at workplace ; by the evening, she is back  inside her skin of a mother,  and wife… probably even a daughter- in- law, daughter, and also becomes a home manager who needs to see what in the house needs her attention. and Only then does she gets a few hours (or may be none at all)  to be herself.  All these roles in a single day is not worth if it is not accepted or acknowledged by her family, children, people at work, and may be in laws or parents. They might not be giving her gifts or encouraging words everyday to acknowledge her contribution; however, a continuous acceptances in the form of smiles, care, love, encouragement, and opportunities keeps her going.

In my opinion Acknowledgement plays a big role in creating harmony in any relationship. I truly believe that if acknowledgement is used regularly and genuinely, it can do wonders to the coaching process. Coaches need to find every small opportunity to provide a gesture of acceptance to the client, which can bring a sense of acknowledgement to the client and engage them for the journey of their life . Needless to say, the more engaged the client is the more fruitful coaching process becomes!

Use of Appreciative Inquiry in Coaching

One of the best examples of integrating acknowledgement in coaching is the Appreciative Inquiry  process. Here, the coach focuses on the strengths of the client, eliciting all that worked well for the client and leading from there to the client’s goals, where these successful past experiences can be deployed but emotionally and in action. For more details on appreciative Inquiry, do read Appreciative Inquiry Handbook by David Copperrider and Appreciative Coaching by Sara Orem.

In a recent coaching session I attended, every member of the group gathered to appreciate one another. This process created an emotional bond, which in turn fostered trust within the group.

The basic idea is then to build – or rebuild – around what works, rather than trying to fix what doesn’t. AI practitioners try to convey this approach as the opposite of problem-solving. They take a positive focus on how to increase exceptional performance instead of improving poor skills and practices. AI assumes that this line of reasoning is motivational. Progress does not stop when one problem is solved: it naturally leads on to continuous improvement. The method draws from stories of success in an attempt to create meaning.

Acknowledgment need not to use the formal words like “I appreciate”, “I acknowledge”, “ You have done a great job”, etc,  etc. its forms needs to be used in blended way using non-verbal clues like a positive Aaha, a thoughtful WOW, a genuine word saying “Amazing”, or as simple as a genuine smile which communicates that “I appreciate what you are saying” etc. But the coach needs to be really authentic with the way they accept their clients. My message to the coach community is to be as open as possible to acceptance of their clients to bring authenticity in their approaches.  Use acknowledgement as a linkage from one stage to another rather than using as one of the stage.

A cautious blend of formal/informal acknowledgement, true acceptance & appreciative inquiry can do wonders to your coaching practice.

Real life isn’t always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgement of what is working in our lives can help us not only to survive but surmount our difficulties. –Sarah Ban Breathnach