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Intense Identity Expansion

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When Charlie told me and showed me some samples of these museum quality sculptures, I immediately bought one and without knowing why, felt it would be helpful to me in some way.

My first usage of it happened when I met with a man named John in his mid forties, I’d been mentoring for five years – along with his girlfriend, Jessica – who had both been through many personal and professional ups and downs and both had finally arrived in the beginning of sound, solid and successful future that promises to be bright from them both.

On this occasion, I told John about the talking stick and how to use it and that I would go first.

I pulled the stick out of its sheath, grabbed the cool and smooth glass with both hands and rested it on top of my seated thighs.  I then took a couple breaths and began to tear up and become emotional and looked John squarely in the eye and said, “What I’m aware of is how much I love both you and Jessica and how many ups and downs and very difficult times you have both been through and how that you’ve now landed in the beginning of a very good place and how filled with joy that makes me.  I’m also aware of my commitment to helping you both in any way I can for the rest of my life.”

I then handed the stick to John and said, “Your turn.”

John is not as in touch with his feelings and emotions as I am, in that his analytic and problem-solving skills far eclipse his emotions.  That’s not to say that he didn’t feel things deeply, which is why I love mentoring him, but that like most left brain men, he was not very skilled or comfortable in expressing them.

He took the Glass Talking Stick, and like me before him, took a couple deep breaths, became emotional and said: “What I’m aware of is how you, Mark, have been consistently, unflinching and steadfast in your support of both Jessica and me for five years without asking for anything and our never paying you. I don’t think I or Jessica have ever known anyone like that our lives who has ever done that for each and both of.  And what I’m aware of is that for years I’ve wanted to thank you and tell you how much that has meant to her and me, but I never did and I never thought I would get the chance to do it, because I’m emotionally kind of shy.  But I’m getting to do it now and it feels so good.” Then John began to cry with a wide appreciative grin on his face.

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