Building on our own four role model of generativity, we can readily rephrase Erik Erikson’s statement about love and work to incorporate this generative interplay between Agency and Communion. As an adult we need love and communion. Love fulfills the need (Push), while communion provides the Press (Pull). We also require the challenge emanating from what we have generated through our work and agency. Work offers an external opportunity (Pull) to find generativity, while agency offers us the internal guidance (Push) for finding generativity in many lifetime activities. That which we have generated through love and work must be reared (Generativity One), guided (Generativity Two), guarded and preserved (Generativity Three) and eventually expanded and transcended (Generativity Four). While agency (and work) is needed to carry out the act of generativity and deep caring, communion (and love) is needed to formulate the desire to be caringly generativity. We have found this formulation to be helpful in guiding our own coaching and consulting enterprises.
Appreciation and Gratitude
There is another source of our guidance as coaches and consultants. This is an Appreciative Perspective (Bergquist, 2003; Bergquist and Mura, 2011; Bergquist and Mura, 2014) We believe that appreciation represents the vital link between agency and communication and that a generative society must be founded on a culture of appreciation. The term appreciation itself has several different meanings that tend to build on one another; however, as a foundation for creating the generative society, we can begin by noting that appreciation refers first to a clearer understanding of another person’s perspective. We cannot be generative in working with another person — be they a child, mentee, colleague, member of our community or coaching client–unless we understand something about their interests, fears, and hopes.
Empathy is critical. One cares deeply about the matter being studied and about those people one is assisting. Neutrality is inappropriate in such a setting, though compassion implies neither a loss of discipline nor a loss of boundaries between one’s own problems and perspectives and those of the other person. Appreciation, in other words, is about fuller understanding, not merging, with another person’s problems or identity. At the level of society, we find priorities, policies and procedures that encourage us to take the time to understand and empathize with one another. Our generativity is successfully directed toward other people—especially a coaching client—only as we understand who they are and actively engage them in the context of this direct, appreciative engagement.
Appreciation refers not just to understanding but also to valuing another person, event or project. Appreciation is about an increase in worth or value. A painting or stock portfolio appreciates in value. Van Gogh looked at a vase of sunflowers and in appreciating (painting) these flowers, he increased their value for everyone. Van Gogh similarly appreciated and brought new value to his friends through his friendship: “Van Gogh did not merely articulate admiration for his friend: He created new values and new ways of seeing the world through the very act of valuing.” (Cooperrider, 1990, p. 123)
One of those seeking to define the nature of a generative society frames this second form of appreciation by turning to the Japanese culture:
“Who decides whether our lives are “successful?” We could select . . . words such as meaningful or tasteful to represent our lives. Kanji characters of the Japanese word meaning involve Ajji, which translates as ‘taste, flavor, sense, impression, appreciation, enjoyment, and experience.'” (Yamada, 2004, p. 99)
Our appreciation becomes a matter of “taste.” We are appreciative and create a generative society when we emphasize the acquisition of tasteful awareness of the extraordinary world around — both the natural world and the exquisite production of people who are now alive or have lived in the past and provide us with objects and events of lasting beauty.
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