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Nurturing Generativity and Deep Caring

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Generativity One

First, a generative society is one in which parenting (Generativity One) is fully supported in terms of public policy, economic incentives, and honoring of the role: “What makes a culture generative? The first and most obvious answer to the question is this: The culture creates an atmosphere in which children survive in the most basic physical sense.” (Kotre, 2004, p. 37) Generativity One, however, is much more than just meeting survival needs. It is about the creation of a child or a project that is filled with energy and purpose.  The child or project is Robust—a wonderful criterion for coaches to keep in mind when helping their client assess the quality of their Generativity One commitments.

A robust child, as McAdams and Logan note, is reared by a particular kind of generative parent: “generativity is associated with an authoritative parenting style.” (McAdams and Logan, 2004, p. 21). They contrast this style of parenting with authoritarian, permissive, and disengaged styles. The authoritative parent cares deeply about her children–to the extent that she provides boundaries while also offering freedom. She provides knowledge and guidance while also encouraging her child to explore, stumble, learn and grow as an independent, courageous human being. Similarly, a robust project is one in which the generative founder and leader provides boundaries and freedom and offer knowledge and guidance, while also encouraging those working with her on the project to explore, stumble, learn and help the project grow with courage.

The irony, as Kai Erikson (Erik’s daughter) has noted, is that this authoritative parenting and leadership requires a focused concentration on the child’s and project’s welfare and continuing development: “[T]o provide one’s children with whatever leverage in life one can afford to bestow on them is a different kind of activity–and may be drawn from a different chamber of the human mind, so to speak–than looking out for the welfare of a whole generation.” (K. Erikson, 2004, p. 55)

While Generativity Two, Three and Four require a broadening of scope in terms of both time and space, Generativity One especially requires a caring focus. In Japan, this form of focused parental generativity is called amae: “To achieve amae, or the child’s ‘basking in another’s indulgence . . . Japanese mothers cater to each need of their child . . .’  The behaviors associated with Japanese parenting captured by the term amae are highly aligned with the values of cultural collectivism that exist in Japan.” (de St. Aubin, 2004, p. 68) We can point to the same focused attention when describing the successful start-up of a project.  We are all aware of the singular attention that is needed when we try to begin something new. A reflective coach can help their client identify what must be set aside or ignored when a project is being launched.

For all of this to occur, for there to be a chamber of the human mind that has a Generative One focus. The parent, child and project must find support in the society where the child is being reared or the project is being initiated. The proximal Push to start a new project must be matched by a distal Pull by society (or at least one’s organization or community) for this project. More specifically, the generative parent or founder must have a vision of the future that is inspiring and filled with hope; a generative society helps the parent and founder find this inspiring vision.

As we have seen in apocalyptic movies, such as The Road Warrior, a society without a future is one in which there is no generativity at the most basic level: caring for and about children. Why raise a child or start a new project if the world is unlikely to survive in a manner that is conducive to the flourishing of this child or project? Put simply, Generativity One requires a generative society that supports the care and feeding of children and new generative ventures. Professional coaches must remind their clients of this critical equation. Otherwise, their client is likely to find failure and after several repeated failures they may also find themselves discouraged and burned out. The Push is gone and generativity is replaced by stagnation.

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