22 Self-Relationship Fundamentals Needed for Success

There are 3 parts of a coaching relationship. One is the client’s relationship with self, the second is the coach’s relationship with self, and the third is the relationship in between the client and coach separate from each, and inclusive of, both. This article focuses on what self-relationship fundamentals contribute to successful outcomes for the client.

I propose that relationship with self and self-awareness are interchangeable. The degree to which one is self-aware is the degree to which one has a relationship with self. As awareness grows and changes, relationship with self deepens and expands. The following 3 statements represent my perspective based upon my experience.

1. The greater the client’s self awareness, the more likely the client’s success.
2. The greater the coach’s self-awareness, the more likely the coach’s success.
3. The greater the coach’s self-awareness, the more likely the client’s success.

As you peruse the 22 fundamentals below, you will recognize that without some of them, success is unlikely. Perhaps all are necessary. I am still in the question about this consideration. After you read the fundamentals of awareness I describe a scenario when I used these in coaching.

Have you ever had a client who enters coaching saying, “I want to maintain my status quo in all life areas. My life is perfect as it is. Coach me.” Unlikely. Clients come to create a future that is in some way, in some life areas, differs from their present reality. This means change.

Throughout my 25 years coaching and coach training, I have identified five fundamentals of self-awareness that can support or, if not available, can hinder success. These are: context, internal resources, external resources, momentum and impact. The following may be used as a diagnostic instrument, either for yourself or to use as a guide when speaking with a client.