Table Four: O² Alarm Signals: Loss and Regret
| The Loss/Regret | The Signal |
| Loss of Integrity | Guilt |
| Regret: Never Being Satisfied | Excessive Indulgence |
| Regret: Never Caring Enough for what is Really Important | Inconsistency/Fickleness |
There is one other point that I wish to make with specific reference to regret and its emergence at various stages in our life. In making this final point, I have placed a hat on my head. This is the hat of neo-psychoanalytic theorist. I have been particularly influenced during my professional life by the work of George Klein (a psychoanalytically oriented researcher and theorist working at New York University). In one of his many essays, Klein (1967) introduced a very interesting concept regarding the dynamic unconscious processes operating deep in our psyche. He described a process called Peremptory Ideation that I suggest relates to the dynamics and power of Regret.
Peremptory Ideation
Klein proposed that in our internal world (psyche) we create a specific idea or image that begins to “travel” around our psyche (head and heart). This train of ideas and images picks up fragments of unconsciously held material (memories, feelings, and thoughts) along the way. This ideational train operates much like an avalanche and other forms of “strange attractors”. The train becomes increasingly rich and emotionally powerful as it picks up new intra-psychic material—and gains increasing energy from this unconscious material.
At some point, this ideation begins to pull in material from outside the psyche. External events suddenly take on greater saliency (more emotional power and vividness). It is because they are now connected to the internal ideation. Klein suggested that this ideation now takes priority with regard to what is valued, attended to and remembered in the external world. It assumes a commanding (“peremptory”) presence. A positive (reinforcing) loop is created, with the external material now joining the interior material—all clustered around the original (often primitive) ideation.
Catching the Train: While Klein focused on the internal dynamics of peremptory ideation, I propose that this internal ideation might find alignment with a similar external ideation that is coming from the challenging polarities we face. We can envision the internal ideation “hooking on” to the ideological “train” that is passing by outside ourselves. We are hitching our own train of thoughts and emotions to an external train. Irrational and anxiety-saturated external ideation—such as regrets—can be particularly attractive, given that this internal ideation is likely to be quite primitive (often taking on a “haunting” presence). The internal ideation is often swirling with the ghosts and goblins of regret that come from our own childhood and adulthood.
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