Finally, there is the matter of regrets regarding a life of security and safety that is free of any risks. At times during our life, we may feel that we have been a “coward.” Opportunities appeared on our horizon, but we stayed put. One of our old friends announces that they have taken on a new job and are excited about the prospects that will open up for them. In some way we are relieved that we “are not this person.” In other ways, we are envious. Our envy soon turns into a self-criticism: “why do I envy this person since I would never make this leap myself!! I have no reason to be envious. I do have good reason to give myself a kick in the rear-end!!!”
Most importantly, we recognize that there is nothing that we care about that is sufficiently great for us to take a big risk. We arrive at the conclusion that we don’t really care about anything important (other than a safe and secure home – and perhaps the welfare of our family). When we don’t care, then we become “care-less.” There is a sense that we are detached from the important things in life—and this means that we are also detached from our feelings. We are willing to sacrifice “care” in order to retain security and safety. This is very troubling—and is an important alarm signal to which we should attend.
Table Two: S² Alarm Signals: Loss and Regret
| The Loss/Regret | The Signal |
| Loss of Vitality | Listlessness |
| Regret: Never Leaving Home | Restlessness |
| Regret: Never Taking a Risk | Carelessness |
In sum, there are many alarms that can signal when we seem to be too comfortable with the status quo. We are aroused from our lounge-chair by clarion calls: “Wake up!”, “Move!” “Do something!” These alarms might have to sound out several times given that we are sleepy, stubborn and slow. On the other hand, we are also a bit listless and restless. Furthermore, we are concerned about not seeming to care any more about much of anything. Perhaps the alarms are doing us a favor—rather than being just a source of annoyance.
O² (Quest) Alarms
The alarm signals regarding an over emphasis on or too long residency in the world of O² (Quest) have to be just as loud and just a persistent as the S² Alarm signals. However, in this case, the alarms must compete against a busy life and the adrenaline-addicting pace of change and challenge. There is so much noise surrounding the O² quest that such concerns as the overuse of drugs or excessive consumption of food or coffee can easily be overlooked. We are working very hard—and this excuses our depression (or helps us ignore the lingering “blues” in our life).
We feel detached from the real world. We are playing a game that doesn’t seem to be related to anything of real importance. That new marketing campaign consumes all of our attention (while we ignore the damage done by the product that we are marketing). Our Skunk works is in the midst of inventing a new drug that will cure that nasty illness (but may have some major side effects). It is all about doing something new, something exciting, something that enables us to win! Regardless of the side-effects or long-term consequences.
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