This successful invitation to civic engagement included several steps. It began with the retiree and his wife being exposed to a success story; they witnessed a celebration of achievement and fulfillment—and that is critical. Then, the senior sage continued to build the relationship by tapping into this person’s spirit and passion; the retiree was responded not just to the opportunity but also to the friendship that was being established. And he had been shown a way in which he could gain access to the community via civic engagement. All it took was a heart-felt invitation.
In many instances senior members of the community moved to Grass Valley or Nevada City not because they knew someone living here, but because they were attracted to the life style and beauty of the natural environment. Consequently, they often arrive without an established social network and initially assume the community is closed, or that they are unwilling to take a proactive approach to get to know the community. They wonder, “If I ask to be invited to that party, will they say no and cause us to be embarrassed? Worse, will they say ‘yes’ but not really mean it and we will be unwelcomed guests?” To some extent, these assumptions about in-group behavior are accurate. There does tend to be many of the same people showing up for every event, running for nonprofit boards, and volunteering for each public service assignment. It’s not easy to break into such a tightly-knit civic engagement community.
Enclaves and Reasons for Civic Engagement
Many senior sage leaders say they don’t know anyone who isn’t actively involved in the community. They are members of what we have already identified as an “enclave community”—one in which virtually everyone shares the same values and life interests (Endnote 98). In this respect, the engagement community doesn’t really differ from the gated communities in Twin Towns. Both communities tend to be self-enclosed with self-reinforcing social network patterns. A fundamental question thus becomes: Can you build a bridge between these communities—and what happens after the bridge is built? Is there much to talk about or do together?
It is understandable that newcomers are waiting to be invited in, and they especially want to know why they are being invited. One senior sage observes that he initially felt he was being invited into a nonprofit organization for nothing more than a financial contribution. He asked, “Are they valuing my potential friendship and colleagueship or just my checkbook? Why do they want me to join, and does their reason for inviting me align with the skills and knowledge I can bring to this organization?” If the person making the invitation has an ulterior motive, then the invitation feels like rejection. Or the person being invited recognizes that he or she is not being valued for the right reasons and leaves with bitter feelings and resentment. If the person doing the inviting truly cares about the well-being of the person being invited in, then the invitation is likely to be accepted and the engagement of the new person probably will expand and endure over time.
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