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How to Stop Lying to Yourself About Who You Really Are

5 min read

The biggest lie I see is:   It’s your fault!

The head of the country blames the opposition, the opposition blames the head of the country; the police blame the people, the people blame the police; the CEO blames the shareholders, the directors blame the CEO, the managers blame the directors; the wife blames the husband, the husband blames the wife; the parents blame the kids, and the kids blame the parents.

Then war is declared.
I’ve been both victim and perpetrator of many of these ~ how about you?

How to stop lying to yourself about who you really are

The wisdom of discernment is the path to seeing through the lies of our perceptions into a place of compassion for what other people are experiencing.

The first step on that path is to discover your own biggest lie (the biggest obstacle to your success) and then find a way to move on past it.

To do so, answer the fourth Best Year Yet® question, How do I limit myself and how can I stop? Then discover how to move on past it.  There are 3 parts to this transformation:

1. How do I limit myself?

Typical answers to this question:

⦁ I avoid difficult discussions.
⦁ I don’t tell people what’s going on with me.
⦁ I don’t do what I say I’m going to do.
⦁ I get lost doing stuff that doesn’t matter.

Writing your answers takes less than five minutes — just ask yourself the question and write down whatever occurs to you.  No editing — please trust yourself.  Continue to ask the question, “How do I limit myself?”  until nothing more occurs to you.  Then move onto the next question.

2. What do I say to myself to explain my limitations?

Your answers to this question are your explanations and justifications for behaving in ways that limit you. Why is it that you limit yourself in the ways you listed above? What thoughts and feelings stop you from behaving in the way you really want to?  For example,

⦁ I’m too old.
⦁ No one really cares about my problems.
⦁ There’s never enough time to do the things I care about.
⦁ I’m so unattractive, no one would be interested in me.
⦁ I can’t afford to . . .

These and other such statements are not true. They are just habitual negative thinking. Yes, I know you have lots of proof that these beliefs are true. And as long as they’re in charge, you’ll have even more proof.

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