Let’s look at an example of this. The client doesn’t feel seen and appreciated for the value that they bring. They struggle in romantic relationships and at work because they don’t feel seen and valued. They have a constellation of protector parts with various strategies for sensing what others want and value. In turn, these parts act like shapeshifters to constantly reposition the client so that they are more valued and seen by others. Sometimes this works yet not often enough. The client still frequently feels hurt because they don’t feel valued. And, constantly triangulating to be more seen and valued by others is exhausting. With some exploration, it is easy to discover that the client has felt this very struggle throughout their childhood, with one or both parents, throughout their school years, with some teachers and friends, and now into their adult years with romantic partners, friends, and their managers at work. Here we can see the contour of recurring struggles that compose a horizontal or historical thread.
In a horizontal thread, the client senses an inner self-deficiency, in this case, a lack of self-worth and innate value, and tries to compensate by taking action in the outer world to get what is missing from others. This pattern, which can be either conscious or unconscious to the client, is visible in every horizontal thread, no matter what quality of presence it is anchored in. As you can see, in this case, the client various protector parts that focus on creating value for others so that they will be valued in return.
What remains unexplored is the client’s inner experience of this pattern and the feelings that underlie it. Working with the vertical thread proceeds through practicing Parts Work, Process Work, Presence Work, and Nondual Work. The coach and client work inwardly to investigate and explore the client’s experience of not feeling valued. As the client drops into deeper contact, they become more aware of the pattern of parts underlying their recurring struggles with value at the Depth of Parts. Then, as these parts release, they drop into the Depth of Process where they feel what it is like to be in their current relationships in a fresh, precise, and very alive way. Finally, as they follow the flow of process and drop into the Depth of Presence, they recover a sense of their innate wholeness and experience a sense of their innate value. Here they realize that they are valuable simply by being who they are rather than only be valued by what they do for others. The journey of working through a vertical thread creates many experiential mismatches, opening the memory reconsolidation window, where new ways of being are embodied and consolidated, effortlessly generating enduring transformation.
Memory Reconsolidation and Aletheia Coaching
Aletheia Coaching is based on the premise that essentially, we all have what it takes, at depth, to effectively navigate the complexity of our lives. However, our past emotional learnings have often convinced us that we lack what is needed, either partially or completely. Our emotional learnings frequently obscure knowledge of our innate capacities and block their embodiment and utilization. This explains how we come to believe that we lack what is needed.
The method of Aletheia Coaching utilizes memory reconsolidation to erase and edit these emotional learnings and help clients experience and embody their innate resourcefulness, creativity, and adaptive brilliance. Through this, clients unfold and develop. They become able to navigate the complex situations they face in work, relationships, health, and in life overall with greater skill, effectiveness, and fulfillment.
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