In less dramatic form, we hear many stories of physicians or ministers who grew up with a parent who was also a doctor or minister. During her Autumnal years, the foreclosed physician or minister takes up a hobby or avocation that speaks to a suppressed identity. She joins a physician’s symphony or spends every free moment sailing a boat. By contrast, a man who has grown up in poverty will rebel by leaving his job (if he has one). “Take this job and shove it” is a recurring anthem for the foreclosed man from the lower middle class. Or he will leave his family, drink heavily and “take up” with a younger woman. If nothing else, he will allow himself to go a little mad as a sports fan and live vicariously off the alternative identities and successes of athletes on his favorite teams.
Retirement: A Second Moratorium?
The issue doesn’t stop here. Many societies have given men (but not women) a second moratorium. As men living in most prosperous countries, we are allowed to explore alternative identities at the point we retire, provided we are not living in poverty or are not in ill health. Traditionally, the women living in most societies did not have it so good. They were expected to remain occupied as homemakers even after their husbands retire. Their work might even increase, given that they must now “look after” their husband who is suddenly “underfoot.” Their retired husband is often quite fortunate if he comes from the middle or upper-middle class. He can move in many new directions: taking up hobbies, spending time at home reading or playing games, engaging in sports and recreational activities such as golf, tennis or bowling.
The world of retirement in many societies has grown a bit more complicated in recent years. Men do not necessarily retire at 65. Women often have also been working all their life and do not necessarily want to assume all the homemaking responsibilities. Even more salient to the present discussion is a question concerning what we do about the second moratorium when we are still in our Fifties and Sixties. The problem is complex. We are not yet ready for retirement. Even though our inner voices are suggesting that we shift our priorities and attend to other matters we still have to work, perhaps even into our Seventies. We don’t have enough money saved for retirement, and our society expects us to still be active “breadwinners.” This is quite a dilemma.
If we are fortunate enough to be living in a prospering society, then as Autumnals we have at least five options. Some of us choose the most obvious of these options. We defer our response to the inner voices by focusing on retirement and planning carefully for what we will do after age 70. Some of us choose a second option. We negotiate a compromise. Some of the voices receive our immediate attention. Others are deferred until after retirement, when society says it is appropriate for us to try something new. A third option is also available to those of us who have been financially successful in life or are particularly courageous. These fortunate or brave men and women decide during their Autumnal decades to alter their lifestyle so that they are doing what they want to do even before formal retirement.
The traditional distinction drawn between work and retirement begins to break down for these Autumnals who choose the third option. Their work becomes their avocation. Their hobby becomes that for which they are paid. At a conference on work and play one of us hosted almost thirty years ago, we invented the word “plork” to describe the full integration of work and play. Several of the people we coach have taken this path. They have left behind their administrative duties and settled into a life of “plork.” Typically, they are occupied with writing, consulting, teaching, mentoring or coaching.
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