Take this Life and Shove It!: Nicholson’s character rebels, having grown up in a musical family, without viable career options. He marries a woman without “culture” and takes a temporary job on an oil rig. Nicholson plays a man who faces a midlife crisis because he knows of no identity other than that of classical musician. His only option is to assume what Erikson calls the Negative Identity. The Nicholson character will randomly assume any identity as long as it is unrelated to serious music. He can be a day laborer, a logger, or even a piano player in a local dive. It only matters that he reacts against the identity assigned to him by his family and society.
In less dramatic form, we hear many stories of physicians or ministers who grew-up with a father or mother who was also a doctor or minister. During his mid-centurion years, the foreclosed physician or minister takes up a hobby or avocation that speaks to a suppressed identity. She joins a physician’s bridge club or spends every free moment sailing a boat. Like Jane, the foreclosed professional might participate in a sport, or like Samuel, join a rock-and-roll band. By contrast, a man or woman who has grown up in poverty will rebel by leaving his job (if he has one).
“Take this job and shove it” has been a recurring anthem for several decades among the foreclosed mid-centurion from the lower middle class. Or the beleaguered male at mid-life will leave his family, drink heavily and take up with a younger woman. If nothing else, he will allow himself to go a little mad as a sports fan and live vicariously off the alternative identities and successes of athletes on his favorite teams. And what about the beleaguered female? What is her option: stay with the family, raise the kids herself, and live a life of quiet despair?
Alternatively, does the mid-centurion who is faced with socio-economic challenges somehow find a way to succeed and become generative? We have yet to mention that both Ricardo and his wife came from a family background of poverty and ethnic discrimination yet have been able to work hard and establish a comfortable life for themselves. Their remarkable success has led to the decision of Ricardo’s wife to work beyond the usual retirement age. The move out of poverty has also enabled Ricardo to discover expanding roles of generativity through his renewed interest in cooking, collecting old cookbooks (Generativity Three), and hosting cooking classes (Generativity Two and Four).
The Transitional Phase: A Second Moratorium
The issue doesn’t stop here. And professional coaches should be aware of this additional point. Most mature adults find themselves in mid-life standing between two worlds: the world of active, income-earning work and the world of retirement and avocations. In some respects, our society has given us a second moratorium—a second adolescence during which we can explore alternative identities. As mid-centurions living in the United States or most other prosperous Western countries, we are allowed to explore alternative identities at the point we retire, provided we are not living in poverty or are not in ill health.
Traditionally, women living in Western civilizations did not have it so good. They were expected to remain occupied as homemakers even after their husbands retire. Their work might even increase, given that they must now “look after” their husband who is suddenly “underfoot.” Their retired husband was often quite fortunate if he came from the middle or upper-middle class. He could move in many new directions: take up hobbies, spend time at home reading or playing games, or engaging in recreational activities such as golf, tennis, or bowling.
