Gerald often confronted himself with many disturbing questions and statements during our coaching sessions:
“What in the world was I was doing taking on the task of leading an educational institution? My work at the institute is always exciting but also terrifying. Is something wrong with me? Was I foolish in taking this on? Was I too old? Was I kidding myself regarding my interest in and ability to take on this venture?”
The mature men and women that Gerald serves in his educational institution have no doubt often asked themselves the same kind of questions. Like the president of their training institute, these middle-aged men and women are inevitably in crisis because they have chosen to return for a degree at a much later point in life than is usually the case. They are not your typical young men and women, fresh out of high school or college. They are experienced persons who want to enrich and renew their understanding of the world, while also getting an advanced academic degree. This interest is understandable and commendable. Yet their families, friends and colleagues often do not understand why they went for further training and education: “Hasn’t he already had enough education?” “Why doesn’t she just settle down and take things a bit easier? What is she doing starting a second career this late in life?”
Moratorium vs. Foreclosure: There are certain times in our lives that society deems it appropriate for us to explore alternative careers and personal identities. Erik Erikson describes these periods as Psycho-social Moratoria. Most of us are given a moratorium during our late teens and early twenties. Young men, in particular, are given the opportunity to explore new realities through the military. Among young women, only those from the middle and upper classes have been granted a moratorium. They become college students. Women from less secure financial backgrounds have typically never experienced a moratorium. Traditionally, they usually move directly from their family of origin to marriage. These young working-class women immediately establish their own families and assume major homemaking responsibilities, as well as often working at least part time to help with the family’s precarious finances. Their exploration of alternative identities is Foreclosed.
Many other people in our society are also denied a moratorium because they may have been assigned their identity early in life. Perhaps their father and grandfather were doctors, so this young man or woman will also be a doctor. Alternatively, the young person may have spent their entire life fighting for survival as the child of an unemployed or homeless parent. This person will never experience a moratorium but, instead, probably will spend most of his life as an unemployed adult living in one of America’s slums. The exploration of alternative identities has been foreclosed for both the predestined physician and the child of poverty.
There is often a dramatic intrusion of alternative identities later in life among middle class and upper middle-class mid-centurions whose identity was foreclosed early in life and among those who never experienced a moratorium during their adolescent years. These men and women often rebel as mature adults. Their inner voices assert themselves in strong and compelling ways. We see this played out in Jack Nicholson’s film portrayal of an identity-foreclosed man in Five Easy Pieces.
