A third person interviewed for the Sage project expressed similar sentiments:
“As a young leader I thought it was my job to always have an answer. I felt I needed to have the proper response to every question. While I think there is value to a leader who can provide sage advice and input, experience has taught me that it is more important to ask the right question than have the right answer. The value in posing the question is it gives me an opportunity to gather responses, hear different points of view, build consensus, and come to the best decision. That being said, I’ve also learned that respect is often gained when the leader is willing to make those tough decisions that may not be popular with others but are the right ones to make.”
The movement from certainty to compassion that is exemplified in the following Sage interview suggests that there are indeed decision points about the stance one must take as a precondition to active generativity:
“I think the heart of my leadership is compassion. I’ve seen so much in my family, things happening to the people I loved. I am fascinated by the failings and possibilities of human beings, and I have an underlying strong belief in the goodness of humanity. I always try to look at something with a multi-faceted view, to understand the alternative perspectives in any situation. When I was younger, I was more strident, with strong political views. Now I’m more accepting of others. Everyone has a story, and I try to keep that in mind. I respect where people are coming from and try to learn something from every situation I encounter.”
Could these sage leaders have benefited from working with a coach? Many acknowledged that just talking about their challenges and transitions during their interview was quite helpful. Might reflection with a coach have aided their movement to a stance of commitment-in-relativism? Can a shift in leadership perspectives and practices be aided by the questions asked and insights offered by a skillful coach?
With or without a coach, the actors are all present. A fair amount of competency and commitment is present. The stage is finally set. Members of the audience have taken their seats. The lights have dimmed. The actors step forward . . . We are now ready to explore each of the four deep caring roles and the ways in which generativity plays out in a variety of different, though interrelated ways. The first act concerns generativity as played out in the raising of children or the initiation of a special project. We will attend primarily to the matter of conducting a project.
Engaging a Project
In his founding conception of generativity, Erik Erikson focused on the opportunities, challenges and gratifications associated with generativity (vs. stagnation) as it takes center stage during the middle years of our lives. Erickson did not focus on project building among young men and women. In some ways, therefore, we are going against Erikson in proposing child raising as the first generativity role that we often engage during our early adult years.
This is an important aspect of generativity because we experience deep caring when we raise our children, and when we initiate projects related to a set of values or goals that are particularly important for us. We also begin our investigation of generativity with project-building (and child raising) because of the lingering impact these early forms of mature caring have on our lives. We propose that the early dynamics of caring in what we are calling Generativity One continue to influence us when we serve as guardians in passing the torch for projects and organizations about which we deeply care.
We also believe it is important to focus on generativity at this early stage because a Generativity One decision may involve setting aside our dream of initiating a project associated with a life vision. Or it might involve operating inside an existing organization rather than starting one’s own organization. Such decisions not to engage actively in Generativity One are just as important as decisions to engage in more typical Generativity One activities like parenting.
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