Spirit-ful Integrity: we trust someone if they are a bit bruised and battered—but are still true to themselves and are still open to a dream:
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
Soul-ful Integrity: it is also important for us to trust that the other person is knowledgeable about and appreciative of the opportunities that their bruising and battering bring to them—and the opportunities of bruising and battering that I bring to the relationship. As Nassim Taleb (2012) would suggest, we want to relate in a trusting manner to people who are not fragile (breakable) and not just resilient. We want to join in a trusting manner with those who are oriented (as we hopefully are) toward joyful and expansive growth through both achievement and adversity:
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
