Most of us would likely vehemently argue that we would NEVER be as fickle as to respond more favorably to one person over another simply because one of the two were better looking! Few of us would admit to being “primed” by simple words we read or hear (even in the background), which then unknowingly influence how we view and interact with someone moments later. For example, research demonstrates that seeing images about retirement homes and old people actually make young students walk slower and act fatigued compared with control groups who have not viewed these images.
Most of us are likely to think we are quite aware and consistent in our behaviors, while in fact most of us are heavily influenced by individual biases and various social norms in different circumstances that we are largely unaware of. For example, some of us behave very differently at work, various social settings versus at home or at church. This essay describes how our behavior can be influenced without us being overtly aware of it. Rather surprising to many, but powerful and positive if we become more aware of these influencers and develop techniques to manage our responses to them. Leadership coaches are in a strong position to help clients become more aware of their individual drivers and provide techniques to overcome negative outcomes.
When describing these psychological drivers and techniques to a client recently, she responded by saying they sounded “manipulative”. And in a way she was right. But it is important to note that these psychological drivers operate naturally – they occur all the time in all of us, largely without our awareness (what psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman describes as “System 1” responses). What we, as coaches are able to do is utilize these techniques to shift behavior of a client in a positive manner.
What is also probably obvious, but important to note, is that the use of these techniques must be applied specifically to encourage the behaviors, actions or decisions needed in the context of when they occur. Clearly analyzing and articulating the behavior changes or actions needed from employees in specific situations is important. A simple example of how this process can progress is the following:
- A leader is in a particular organizational setting (say a high-level meeting) and notices a new person in the room that reminds her of someone in her past. She feels a moment of annoyance emerge which influences her reactions and focus during the meeting. Walking out of the meeting, she feels frustrated and confused about why the meeting went poorly.
- In a subsequent debrief, she notes to her coach that she was not on her game and distracted during the meeting and was mystified why.
- The coach explores her experience together with her and picks up on a comment about the stranger in the room. Further discussion identifies that the stranger reminded her of a college professor who was harsh, critical and confrontational.
- The coach then suggests that the leader was likely “primed” (see later) and suggests applying the technique of “thinking about thinking” and other techniques in future to manage these situations.
- The coach then helps the leader practice these techniques to mastery.
