Support Group: Most people who successfully address VUCA-Plus challenges and effectively manage a major life transition describe the critical role played by several people who have served them in a variety of functions: the nurturer helps us feel better or stronger; the friend empathizes with our predicament and often provides a humorous perspective; the expert provides important information to help us implement, accelerate or slow down a transition; the clarifier helps us better understand the current and probable future nature of the transition; the predictor, someone (with relevant expertise) who is willing to let us know what the consequences would be if certain decisions are made about the transition; and the challenger who forces us to reexamine our actions, values or expectations. Usually, people are more in need of the nurturer if the transition is particularly rapid and in need of the challenger if the transition is too slow.
In their study of the relationship between interpersonal relationships and happiness, Waldinger and Schulz (2023, pp. 104-107) have recently offered a list that expands on the one I have offered. They identify people who offer safety and security, along with those who promote learning and growth. Other members of the support group would provide emotional closeness and be people in whom we can confide. Another element of support comes from those who can help us identify and affirm our unique identity and can share experiences with us (so that we discover how we are alike and how we are different from other people in our life).
Waldinger and Schulz would be remiss if they failed to recognize the important role of support that comes someone with whom we are intimate. There is also the matter of bringing someone into our life that can provide assistance—which can come in the form of valuable information or practical and tangible assistance. Finally, there is the source of support that is often neglected. This is the support that comes from someone with whom we can have fun and with whom we can relax.
Ideally, a support group consists of people who fill one or more of these roles. Waldinger and Schulz emphasize the multiple roles of support that specific people can fill in our life. They offer a checklist that they encourage their readers to complete that identifies specific people and the role(s) that they might play. Members of a support group need not know each other; they may never even have been in the same room together when assisting someone. Yet they all have one thing in common: they all know how to provide support to the individual addressing a VUCA-Plus challenge or going through a transition–and they are willing to provide this support. It is the responsibility of that individual to integrate the different perspectives of the members of their group and to be sure they are not asking only one or two people to fill all of these roles—such as their spouse.
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